I always feel lower on the totem pole than most others in friend groups. It’s as if there’s groups within the group, where several “main” friends do a lot of stuff together and I’m just there sometimes and don’t really get reached out to. It’s tough to think that you’re not doing something wrong, it gets me confused. I saw someone on this sub say something like “If something is worthwhile to someone, they’ll go out of their way to get it” and I guess that’s the same for friendships. However, I also don’t want to sabotage them either by letting things run their course and not taking anymore initiative, because chances are they won’t take it. Anyway, thoughts are appreciated.
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If something doesn’t make sense, I am ready to clarify. English is my second language and I write from the phone.
Yes, I think most of the time. It is my fault because it seems that I look either cold or too cringey with people. Most of the time emotions leave and it gets hard to discuss things they want to talk about which make it worse for a group, in my opinion. In addition, I don’t really follow anything popular right now so I am out of the loop. Current inability to get into a middle of conversation is also sure to be one of the factors.
Granted, things did get better as I started learning social skills. This sub, plus the classic “get yourself out there” or something to that effect, provided great aid in expanding social circle and acceptance. The situation much improved but I still find it difficult. So I consider shifting to one-on-one friendships. Maybe it is your case as well.
In summary, either try to improve social skills or maybe friend groups are not your thing.