Hi reddit,
I’m 24f and virgin, im not comfortable yet to have sex (im planning on doing it soon enough). Im with a guy I love and he will be staying with me for a few days, I want to get intimate with him without penetration.
I have some ideas in mind, such as BJ as it is something im interested in and we have shared before, but other than that im kinda at a loss on what to do.
My goal is to make him feel loved, we have been dating for a good while and been through some big life stuff together and always been supportive of each other. He has been super patient abt the sex thing even though I feel his frustration smetimes.
I just dont want him to feel insecure abt it, it has more to do with me and my religious upbringing than with him. So i really plan on showering him with love for the days he stays with me.
I would love to get your suggestions on what i can do in the bed that doesnt include PIV.
13 comments
If you want to prep for PIV have him go down on you REALLY well. That’s the next step in getting comfortable with full lovin’.
Swallow his cum.
Swallow, rim him. Anal is always a good option and the Bible doesn’t have anything to say about it. So in the eyes of religion, it’s the best option
Boob job is also an option
A man who truly loves you will feel your love without PIV, and will appreciate you as you are.
Men love dirty talk, hand jobs, blow jobs, and they like to cum in different places on your body. Ask your man where he would like to cum: on your breasts, on your stomach, on your back, etc. So when you explore his body, and play with him, and he tells you he’s about to cum, give him permission to come on a spot that he mentioned before. “Oh, baby, i want your cum all over my __________”.
Guys also like watching their partner pleasure themselves. You can masterbate side by side. He can “help” you masterbate with his hands or his mouth (oral sex). You can “help” him masterbate with your hands or your mouth (oral sex).
If you don’t want to do participate in oral sex, then handjobs, foot jobs, and grinding on each other can be a lot of fun. A make out session with a side of heavy petting.
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Have fun!
You want to have sex without PIV because you’re religious ?
You’re not respecting your religion, just have normal PIV anyway instead of circling around the bush
Do you allow him to give you head? Have you tried the “penis rubbing the vulva” trick (with a condom of course)? Does not include PIV but gets darn close, he can rub your clit and vulva with the shaft and tip, makes him feel more connected to you.
You could try, depending how you feel about it, being on top of him and just rubbing your vagina on his penis, not in your vagina. Unless you don’t even want them touching. You would need him to understand to not move and that you get full control as you could risk possible accidental piv. You could also do this with panties on, silky material would be the best, that way there is no physical contact between vagina and penis and it mitigates the risk on the penis entering the vagina. Been married 30 years and my husband loves this even though we have been having piv forever.
The first piece of advice anyone should give you on the topic is don’t do anything you don’t feel comfortable doing immediately followed by talking to your partner about it. Communication and explaining why you do or do not want to do something with the right partner goes a very long way. If you’re with someone that will pressure you into something you are not ready for or try to guilt you into something you do not want is not a good partner. Talk to him, not at him. Do not make him feel guilty for wanting to connect with you via PIV as it is the most intimate way for him to connect with you and feel the closest to you. If he’s just there to get his rocks off it’s not the intimacy that will grow with time and make it feel amazing for both you. It has to be a connection you both need which requires a lot of trust as it is both of at your most vulnerable. If both of you are not mature enough to understand that, wait, there’s nothing wrong with that.
As far as other things to do there have been some really good suggestions already. Ask him what he likes. What are his fantasies beyond PIV. BJ’s are probably a given but mechanical just get you off ones are not what builds a relationship. Enthusiasm, tenderness that builds to a fever of wanting to give and share in the pleasure. Eye contact that lets him know that you want to be doing this as much as he wants to be receiving it. Swallowing is something that is personal to you – if you enjoy it, it will play to his ego. If you are not comfortable with that, tell him why but reassure him it has nothing to do with how much you want him or feel about him as the rejection is painful otherwise. Use mirrors so that he can watch you and see your body. Men typically like the visual stimuli. Making out is never a bad thing, deep kisses with tongue. If you’re comfortable with dirty talk it’s another ego trip for him. Handjobs are ok if done with passion but he’d probably prefer oral. Tell him what you like so he can reciprocate. If he doesn’t want to make you feel as good as you make him feel, that’s a problem.
Have fun, be safe, communicate. Hope this helps.
Touch, fingers, show genuine interest/intrigue in his genitals and body!! Cuddles.. kisses.. rub/massage his whole body/hips/bum… ♥️
PIV is just one sexual activity, there are like 100 other things you can do. Most people are kind of obsessed by PIV, but its just a very small part of sexuality, not the main part. You can do soo much without penetration. Hands, oral, toys, rub on each others body.
Some comments say blowjob and swallow. If you’ve never given a blowjob before, swallowing isn’t going to be easy. Don’t put this pressure on yourself. Blowjob yes, swallowing isn’t required. Enthusiasm is. If you seem enthusiastic all will be well.
Also, don’t neglect yourself or your pleasure. Be enthusiastic about him pleasing you as well. Don’t just give him a blowjob and then sigh in relief that you’re done. Have him pleasure you too.
Such a shame to deny yourself sex with a man you love because of religion, top level catholics don’t let it stop them molesting children so you shouldn’t let it stop you having perfectly legal, genuine, potentially earth shattering sex with someone you’re in love with. Spoiler alert: gods not real, go have sex and feel the love and enjoy it you don’t have to hell for leather it can be slow and sensual