My wife and I rarely have sex anymore, I have a high sex drive and my wife has no sex drive at all, I love her to bits and she loves me too so it’s not that. There isn’t even any affection like a cuddle or anything like that and when I bring it up in conversation she says she does want sex but I know it’s just words because it’s never followed up with any enthusiasm and it’s always me that shows affection, on the very rare occasion we do have sex about every 3 months or so it’s always me that initiates it, and it seems she just wants to get it over with and get to sleep and doesn’t even touch me or like me touching her vagina or breasts, she don’t even take her bra off, and there isn’t any sexual urge from her like where you feel so horny you need sex. It never used to be like this she would always be touching me as soon as we would wake up every morning. I suppose if someone doesn’t have the urge for sex they don’t and that’s that.
5 comments
it will go this way more and more. if you split what difference would it make? apart from you can find it elsewhere?
First question is, do you still do the things that initially wooed over your partner? Do you still write them little love notes, doodle drawings, buy them flowers, pick up thoughtful gifts, etc.?
People get complacent when they get married. They stop fighting for that person and take them for granted.
Second question is, do you do things for your partner out of love or because you feel obligated to do so? I’m talking about things like rubbing their feet, giving them a massage because they are in pain, applying sunscreen to the hard to reach areas of their body, etc.?
I’m the type of person that wants things to be better than when I found them, so this includes my partner’s mood as well as how a place looks. There is always room for improvement and I’d rather do it so she doesn’t feel overwhelmed. I will wipe up messes, spot clean areas that got soiled, tidy up areas, pick up clothes on the floor, etc.
Third question is, what do you do as foreplay to get your partner interested? Sorry but foreplay can start days prior to a session. It can be as casual as brushing up against her arm, kissing her neck, enjoy watching her change clothes, etc.
I love pleasing my partner and I have given her orgasms then left her alone. Oral is great for that which is generally the most unselfish thing you can do for your partner without wanting/expecting anything in return. I’d use a toy on my partner without feeling emasculated.
Being desired is a key component to a successful relationship. Go on date nights with your partner, take a shower together, explore her body as if you’ve never did it before. Take the time to rediscover her erogenous zones.
She might love to feel that wanting again, like you can’t wait to passionately kiss her, to see her nipples get hard from touching them, trace her body with your fingertips, the way she responds to lightly scratching down the length of her back, or craving her scent on you.
Married. Same situation. We “date” things are “good” overall but I bet we MIGHT have sex once every 4 months or so & that’s being generous.
It’s a dead BR for sure.
People ask all these questions acting like husbands don’t try to date their wife, take trips/provide/flirt etc not just being dirty or gropey in the moment.
Been there done it all.
I don’t know what’s up except hormonal or mental things in the background.
Maybe her emotional needs are fulfilled so the physical subsides?
We’ve discussed it briefly but until both parties talk about it directly & agree to put effort into creating a resolution; not much can change.
Of course its not a love issue because love and sex have nothing to do with each other. That’s a fallacy. She may love you like her favorite house plant but she has no desire for you. Try counseling and/or divorce. Love isn’t the savior of all things despite what Disney taught you.
If no kids, Run!