After some social events have ended, and especially by the end of the day on the evening, I’ll take the time to evaluate my social wins and losses in order to evaluate my performances and know where I stand socially with other. From here, I know where I failed or where I did something right. It’s honestly kinda mentally exhausting but it’s more productive than numbing myself with TVs or video games by the end of the day. Many people would easily dismiss these as something trivial and not worth bothering about but I’d rather be overthinking than socially unaware.
For example
\- When I answered a question, a got corrected by a guy, and I kinda knew his ‘correction’ was wrong but wasn’t too sure about it because he seems confident about it. Turns out I was right
\- (and this may seem petty) I was studying with my friends but none of us knows what’s going on so we can teach the other anything and so we just silently read our own stuff. A guy told the group ‘he’s just not feeling it today’ so he’ll just read, and I told the group that I do not understand much about the topic right now so I need to go revise first. The guy then interjects that ‘it’s not like he doesn’t understand, it’s that he’s sick rn so he’s not feeling it’. He may stating the truth or he could be saving face by one upping me
\- I was hanging out with younger college student and my guys. On our trip back, he ask the guy who’s driving why im coming with him and don’t i have a car. The driving guy said I don’t drive (Im 20M. No license. No car). It was pretty embarassing to say the least
So from these situation, it seems like it’s a net social L for me today. I can use it to remind myself to do better next time
4 comments
It doesn’t really matter if something is “normal” or not, just that if it works or is healthy/beneficial for you. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with reflecting on your day, especially if socialization is something you’re trying to improve upon, but this type of in-depth analysis each night seems like it might veer more into the territory of just ruminating about any moments that you found embarrassing.
For example, what could you have done better about the driving situation? Or mentioning that you want to revise your work? There’s nothing socially unaware about either of those instances, and running over and over them in your mind doesn’t seem very productive.
I always journal my social experiences, I write down the stuff I did well and then add a little section called Instead next time writing down all the stuff I could have done differently that would have better for next time. It’s worked a lot for me. Definitely not weird, it’s actually very smart. Ya know during war, such things as war journals existed to jot down what was working and what wasn’t to learn from mistakes and improve. Reason being we forget stuff if we don’t write it down, you might have a good idea, but if you don’t jot it down you forget later.
Lmaoooo
You’re overthinking. It sounds like you’re young, but you’re going to drive yourself nuts thinking about all the situations you can’t change.