I’m not talking of an every day recurring thing. I’m talking about a once in a while thing.
I wanted to iniciate sexting with a guy the other day and he straight up said “nou”. I was taken aback like… excuse me?
Just a couple of days ago we had an intense sexting session and it was really nice. But he iniciated. Now that I’m the one who wants to have their needs met, I find myself with this negative response and I feel super rejected 😞. How do you deal with that feeling?
TL,DR: I iniciated sexted and was rejected, how does one cope with that?
8 comments
block and enjoy the next one
I mean this is what most guys go through on a regular basis. It’s so common it’s a cliche.
I’m sorry though. Even though it’s common, it doesn’t feel good. Remember that everyone is entitled to not be in the mood sometimes and that doesn’t mean they don’t desire you. It means they don’t want to be intimate at that time.
Seems to me that you’re with someone who is selfish and doesn’t really care about your needs. That’s a major red flag and I wouldn’t recommend you to stay with that person. You need someone who is stable and coherent.
How often does this happen?
You do know men don’t have to agree to everything? He has all the rights in the world to reject sexy time/sexting.
I 100% agree that everyone is entitled to not be in the mood, but it was the WAY he rejected you which could have been done more tactfully. I could understand how a simple “no” would make you feel like your needs are being dismissed. There are ways to turn down sex without making your partner feel unwanted or rejected. Have an open discussion with him about this, and tell him that there is no shame in not wanting sex/sexting every time you ask for it, but you would appreciate him being kinder about it. For example, if my partner tries to initiate sex when I’m not in the mood, I’ll tenderly hold her hands, look her in the eyes, and say something along the lines of “Listen, I’m not really feeling up to it right now, but you know how much I love you, and I promise that another time soon, we will both be in the mood, and the sex is gonna be 🔥” It may sound silly, but try playing out the above conversation (in your own words, of course) in a role reversal exercise. Doing so might help him understand how much of a difference it makes when he frames his rejection of sexual activity in a more loving, caring manner.
EDIT: I just re-read the post and realized this is more of a casual situation, rather than a relationship. Most of what I said still applies, just maybe less lovey-dovey sounding lol. Even casual relationships require mutual respect. After all, you are getting together to meet each others’ needs, not just one person’s…
In my experience as a guy, every time I’ve turned down sex, no matter how well I try to word it, leaves the girl feeling bad and me even worse
Maybe you need to change up your sexting game and head to a bar for some conversation. Just a thought 