I met someone through work, who’s become a good friend of mine (Adam). He got his friend (Ben) a job where we work, and we became friends too. They go way back and have been friends for years, and are also in a band together.
Adams birthday is comin up and is hosting a get together at his house. I’m invited but Ben isn’t. There isn’t any bad blood between them as far as I’m aware. Adam hosted a house party a week ago and Ben was invited to that.
Why would Adam do this?
Adam doesn’t work for the company anymore, so what should I tell Ben when he asks me what did on the weekend? Lie and say nothing, but risk him finding out about the party? Or say the truth and make it awkward?
8 comments
Tell him the truth. What’s between them is their problem not yours.
“Hey, why wasn’t Ben invited?” (He’s probably on vacation and Adam already knows)
That’s not your issue to resolve, for all we know Ben could be on vacation or maybe they’re not super close. That’s something they both need to resolve
If you feel like you have a close enough relationship, I’d ask Adam.
I’ve been in a similar situation before and I just asked the person hosting because I hate when people are left out. In that situation, it just slipped the hosts mind.
Who knows, it’s could be a simple accident, he may know that Ben is already busy that weekend, or maybe there is something else going on!
Doesn’t hurt to ask 🙂 I’m sure he would appreciate it if Ben didn’t invite him to something and you asked Ben
Do you and Ben still work together? If yes then you should probably tell him since it might create tension between you two if he finds out you lied. And how would Ben find out? Do you guys have other mutual friends? Has Adam invited other people from the same company?
Wouldn’t read much into it but a lot of people that ive observed seem to have close friends that they trust the most and a separate “vibe” friends group where they aren’t the closest but fit the dynamic in a larger group setting more compatibly — is Ben sort of “different” than the group dynamic by chance? one of my best friends only meet up for drinks and keep it pretty lowkey or a double date with our SOs, but id never go to his group of friends kickbacks as they just fundamentally have different interests and culture (raves etc… while im more of a jazz bar type)
How did you find out Ben wasn’t invited?
Just say you went to a party