My fixed mindset is affecting my marriage.

As the title says. I’m (42 M) a fixed type of mindset person. My wife (38 F) is purely growth oriented and the type to get what she wants. A real go-getter and focused on the objective kind of person.

I’m the floating thru life and everything is good type of guy. No mortgage no loans, our two lovely kids. Life is good.

I can’t stand the thought of her leaving me but I feel it coming. We have become distant. There’s no infidelity there’s none of that. But she arranges plans does stuff etc. without consulting my opinion.

I’ve read previous posts on this sub with the opposite: The wife complaining on here about her passive husband. And I feel like I am accurately described in these posts.

I hate what I am. And I feel like I’m lost and it’s almost too late to change. My wife has talked to me about it many times. And I’m always like what do I do, and her response is sort your shit out.

My main pain point is my work: I’m a dissatisfied employee at the same company for 12 years and I can’t leave because we are on immigrant residencies…and things will get complicated. (Altho I own a fully paid home in said country)

I’ve lost touch with friends. My wife makes all the plans. If I make a plan, there’s always a gap or a goof up and it reflects bad on me like: yeah expected mistake from that dumbass husband. (Recent example: I booked the wrong theater for Oppenheimer last weekend..and we couldnt get a cancellation or refund. I ended up selling the tickets.)

I want to fix this and at 42 it’s going to be a long ass journey. I want some quick wins, good habit attitude shifts so she knows I’m dead serious about myself and this family. Getting out of my comfort zone.

I just don’t know where to start. And I feel like this is such a disappointing reason for a divorce or separation.

Sorry for the long rant.