I(25F) and H(26M) now, used to be close friends in the college and got together at the end of it… then Me(21F) & H(22M) We were in LDR from the beginning and dated only 3 months, he started pestering me for nudes and those kind of pics and video calls which i was not at all comfortable and told him that plenty of times, he also seemed immature, asking me not to wear my hear down, not to post pics on social media and stuff, one day he snapped saying if i’m not comfortable being physical then doesn’t want that relationship, i said ok and broke up with him. He wanted to give another chance and begged saying he said all that coz of friend’s influence but i did not budge and stopped talking to him.
So fast forward 5 years after that he texted me last week since he got to know about my father’s demise recently and asked to meet up casually as he was in my city and i agreed thinking everything would be behind us by now. We met out just for an hour, he mostly did that talking telling about his life and the meet went fine. He then later started texting me saying that he still loves me and asking me to see if i can give the relationship another try. The thing is i just got out of a toxic relationship last week and i’m just struggling right now which i told him when i met him. He then asked me how many people i have dated after him..? I tried to politely tell him that i’m not interested and i don’t see myself being in a relationship for a long time now, he still kept on saying how much he loves me and hasn’t been able to move on and never dated any girl after me but i clearly said that i’m not getting back with him ever and knowing he has feelings for me i don’t even want to be friends or talk to him at all. He stop texting me after i didn’t reply to his msgs after that.
He texted me 2 days back again trying to make a conversation and over friendly.. i asked him what he was trying to do to which he said that he’s not trying to do anything since i’ve made it clear that i don’t even want to be friends.. i again asked so what is this you are doing? to which he got offended and said that i have become very rude.. i snapped and told him that he needs to respect boundaries and understand to let go instead of pushing to talk to me again and again even after i’ve expressed that i don’t want to and blocked him after that. So he sent me a msg on one of the payment gateway application ranting about how he felt insulted when i asked what he was trying to, that’s why he called me rude and he knows about boundaries and not to teach him, and i’m the one who broke his heart and ruined his happiness and life because, he has still not healed from it And that he believes in karma , which will get back to me one day.
At first i was feeling guilty for snapping at him but reading the last msg and while writing this here i realize i don’t need to feel that guilty about it, but should i still apologize to him for snapping?
TL;DR- I snapped at my ex bf when he called me rude for not wanting to talk to him, is their any other way to handle this situation?
9 comments
Cut contact. Huge waste of time stressing about exes.
I don’t think you have anything to apologize for; it seems like he has been (intentionally) trampling all over your boundaries.
He got mad because you called him on his shit. That’s your sign that you need to cut him off.
This one is simple. Just block him. If you aren’t interested just leave it alone and walk away from it. I personally have ex’s I don’t respond to and have blocked. It’s ok. You don’t owe them anything. Loosing your cool isn’t a good thing. But if they push you to it cut them off. Be a better you. Sounds like he is just trying to get you to cave making you feel bad. You’re better off without that mess as you were already not interested.
I don’t think you should contact him further. Sounds like you were pretty direct about your feelings and he wanted to filibuster you. You don’t owe him an audience if he can’t respect your feelings or your space.
Toxic “nice guy “. I’m so nice but I don’t respect boundaries .
This guy is a real piece of work, you literally don’t owe him a single thing, not even a response. def block him on everything and watch your back. These are the kind of guys that snap and end up on a true crime doc. please just be careful and protect yourself!
> i asked him what he was trying to do to which he said that he’s not trying to do anything since i’ve made it clear that i don’t even want to be friends.
So don’t be his friend and cut his ass off.
Pfffft don’t apologize, just cut off contact best you can. Don’t respond, don’t acknowledge, ask your friends to do the same the best they can.