At what point should you give up as a guy?

28 comments

1. Ok so look at it objectively…..Do you have a very particular type of person you’re looking for and are narrowing the search? If so maybe explore your horizons a little and see how that goes

2. >no interest at all from women in person

   What do you mean by that? Do you try talking to women and ask them out?

3. If you need a break from trying, then do it, but always strive for living your best life.

4. You shouldn’t give up. There’s someone out there for everyone. Try to be friends first

5. Same here man. Not going to tell you what to do, but personally I’m taking a step back from dating indefinitely. Let them come to me, or not. Work hard on my hobbies and save money for another rental prop. I prefer to be the confident, chivalrous type, but it seems like it’s outdated. Will try again sometime, prob.

6. Based on your response to another commenter, you don’t even attempt to ask women out in person, you just assume they don’t want you or aren’t interested in you. This is an unhealthy mindset and is setting you up for failure. You gotta at least put some effort in anything if you want a chance at a positive outcome.

   I think your outlook needs work and you also need to take action to talk to women in person. Just because you are in the best place physically/financially as you have ever been doesn’t mean women will just flock to you. You still have to put in effort.

7. No idea. All I’ve ever managed is to get friendzoned. Not really a good place to be but it’s a way of interacting with women.

8. Why not invest your time in dating yourself? I know that sounds strange, but try new things, acquire more hobbies and experience more life. Oftentimes finding an adequate partner is about living your life and stumbling upon it when you least expect it.

9. You don’t have to give up ever, Keanu Reeves didn’t meet his partner until he was in his 50s and like, who can’t that guy have?

   You can take a break from dating websites and actively thinking about dating if it makes you feel bad though, just don’t give up on yourself and meeting someone with mutual attraction present.

   Live your life like it’s complete and see who might come along to join it sometime.

10. To be fair a lot of guys are in a similar situation. Don’t give up and keep being the best version of yourself to maximise the chances of success

11. Tried speed dating? Matchmaking services? Volunteering?

    Making friends with couples and asking them to set you up can be super effective. Couples see every single friend as half of a couple they want to meet.

12. Stop looking. Something will come.

13. Get a passport and travel. Do it periodically like 3-4 times a year. You can live pretty well for fairly cheap and have women waiting on you. Is it traditional love and relationships, not quite but it will put you in a place of abundance and then when your done come back home work etc get ready for your next trip hah.

14. About 30, then you can just enjoy your life with one less thing on your mind.

15. It’s Not about giving up, but more about not caring whether you can find a intimate relationship because i stop the dating nonsense because i know I’m not ready for it and I’m 23. I just find hobbies i like then have an actual circle of friends that i like to talk to.

    You can still try chase people but just have low expectations on it and try not to take it too seriously especially dating app

16. For any person, they should never give up. You hold the pen to your life, keep trying, fail, and try again. This applies to any goals that you value.

17. Dude, STOP relying on shit dating apps, holy shit,

    Step 1: Grow a pair of balls

    Step 2: Don’t be a creep and approach girls at events, in your local store, everywhere.

    Magically you will start getting girls.

    I’m literally ashamed of my fellow men in 2023, they think it’s somehow wrong to be attracted to a girl and approach her to start a conversation, as if she was going to call the police or something.

    The more time you waste on dating apps, the more your social skills will suffer, and the more you will rely on this shit method of dating, which is like a casino, and the girls are the house, you’re -statistically speaking- on the loser end.

    Now, if you don’t know shit about approaching, don’t join these negative red-pill blogs that pretty much hate woman, go find old PUA materials, which isn’t great, but if you are socially ignorant it’s a good start. But in short, go out, go to events, and talk to girls IN PERSON, imagine they send you back to the 1980s before the internet.

18. my original comment got deleted by bot.
    ——-

    Dude, STOP relying on shit dating apps, holy shit,

    Step 1: Grow a pair of balls

    Step 2: Don’t be a creep and approach girls at events, in your local store, everywhere.

    Magically you will start getting girls.

    I’m literally ashamed of my fellow men in 2023, they think it’s somehow wrong to be attracted to a girl and approach her to start a conversation, as if she was going to call the police or something.

    The more time you waste on dating apps, the more your social skills will suffer, and the more you will rely on this shit method of dating, which is like a casino, and the girls are house, you’re -statistically speaking- on the loser end.

    Now, if you don’t know sh*t about approaching, don’t join these negative red-pill blogs that pretty much hate woman, go find old PUA materials, which isn’t great, but if you are socially retarded it’s a good start. But in short, go out, go to events, and talk to girls IN PERSON, imagine they send you back to the 1980 before the internet.

19. Hi! Early 30s are still young. People are getting married older these days.

    Personally, I found Reddit way better than any dating apps. Post something in subreddits like r4r30s, penpals, makenewfriends, foreveralonedating. Make sure that you make an effort in your post that will show your interests and what are you looking for. Or reply to one of the posts there. I admit that as a female I have more chances of getting a reply since I think there are more male Redditors but when I need someone to talk to, I reply to one of those M4F posts.

    Be patient and enjoy the conversations and do not tunnel vision on relationships right away. For me, it’s a great practice on how to talk to people too.

    And keep on taking care and improving yourself. Do it for you. Don’t give up, there’s no expiration date in finding love 🙂 Wish you the best.

20. Sure, if that’s what you want.

21. You got the mental, you got the physical, nice job! But there are still other categories you can nail down, like (in no particular order)

    social – talking one and one, in groups, and sexually ie flirting, communicating ideas while keeping others engaged.

    skill sets – cooking, mechanical repair, cleaning, DANCING, etc.

    leadership – taking responsibility and handing out tasks to others for a common goal, people management, working well with others under pressure

    Mood – being an uplifting and positive person to be around, showing enthusiasm in the face of stress, spreading positivity outwardly. Keeping level headed when something is trying to tick you off

    Identity – have a goal that consumes you, something you are willing to suffer for to achieve, something that when people ask what you do makes you say “I am a _____” with your head held high. People like when they can see you are genuinely focused and engaged in something you care about.

    Fashion – women are social creatures. society is driven by a constant stream of events that creates trends ie. fashion. Being aware of these trends while understanding each woman’s attitude towards them will help them feel listened to.

    Playing the game – you have your own idea of what life should be about. Part of attracting others is to make them feel like their way of life is valid also. That’s just the way it is, you will never find someone that thinks 100% like you. So you need to learn to balance speaking out for your beliefs AND making others feel comfortable about theirs around you. Notice that this requires skills in the leadeship, social, identity etc categories.

    This list is by no means exhaustive but It’s a way to start thinking about where you may naturally be strong and where you may be lacking. It’s a big hill to climb, but the great news is that what you learn in one category can often be applied to others. Always keep improving, never focus on what you don’t have, focus on figuring out what you need to do to get it. Ideally you want to find a mate while you are on your own journey, that is traveling in the same direction you are.

    Be proactive. Take chances. Make mistakes, own up to them. Be honest. Learn how to say no. Learn how to push people away that drag you backwards. Look at yourself, all of the ugly bits inside, fix them, one by one. Over and over, then when you’re done, do it again.

    You’ll notice that once you start filling in these gaps, you’ll emit a vibe that others call ‘confidence’. And confidence is one of the most surefire ways to attract a mate. Best of luck on your journey! 👍

22. You’re not missing much, sorry. Throughout my life, I’ve been surprised just how little most girls improve a man’s life, both via my experience and observations of friends, family and co-workers. Whilst it’s possible in theory to find a girl who’ll actually improve your life, there is a very strong probability you’d just end up with someone who makes you fantasize about being single once again.

    So, enjoy doing what you like and leave it to fate, if you’re meant to find someone, it’ll happen. If not, oh well you’re probably not missing out on much.

23. 30s is the worst time for dating I think. Everyone is married or ltr and those who arnt have come out damaged of a relationship and just want to mess around

24. Stop using those damn apps. Go outside and approach some beautiful women. The mall, the grocery store, the book store, etc. You’ll do better than some lifeless app.

25. Make your question more specific. If you were to ask when should a guy give up in general I’d say never, until you’re dead and cold. But if the context is dating and marriage then both aren’t necessary, focus on yourself and improve in life. Your age, 30 is just the start where a man’s life starts to change foe the better.

    More and more men are turning away from marriage because the rewards aren’t worth the effort. But we have our biological needs and there are more ways to meet that. Play smart and use your advantages man.

26. This might blow your mind, and I’m sorry for the hard truth, but if you’re thinking of giving up, then you’re not in your best place mentally, like you said.

    You need to take a step back and realize this. Working on yourself is not something you “complete”. It’s an ongoing project throughout your life. The best place mentally is one where you are 100% content with who you are and where you are in all aspects of life. Having apathy toward women is a display of confidence which you don’t have, and will help you, ironically, achieve what it is you seek.

    You need to get into that mental space, or at least aim to.

27. Just pay for sex, better than nothing at all, and only shameful if you dont treat her like a gentleman

28. I don’t know man but it’s hard. No matches, no likes and you start doubting your self worth. Then you see utter human trash men have relationships, a wife, whatever and you end up wondering if you’re worth anything at all if girls choose people like that “over you”.

    I’ve seen serial cheaters get chased by girls, I’ve seen emotional and even physical abusers get chased by girls, sometimes even exes and I’m standing there like… is that more attractive?

    I’d say don’t give up. Start approaching girls IRL. Been to a wedding, went up to a girl I considered way out of my league, we talked for hours. She told me she REALLY loved that I had the courage to go up to her.