Hi, I moved to a flat with two acquaintances some months ago. I have known them for 8 months. My two acquaintances seem to get along with each other better than I get along with any of them. I am fine with it because I am a very private person and I need a lot of space. I am a freelancer and an entrepreneur. It means I have internal pressures more than external ones which is why I try to be disciplined and follow routines. My flatmates have regular jobs and they are more like go-with-the-flow sort of people.
This leads to a bit of a problem where let’s say they want to go out in the evening on a weekday to pass the time but I need to be in bed early because I wake up early and complete my work before 5. They seem to work throughout the night.
When I tell them that I don’t want to go out because I need to go to bed early they make fun of me or look very downcast as if I have rejected them.
Also, I like to live independently which means I plan trips with other friends and I don’t always involve my flatmates with other friends. One of my flatmates finds this offensive.
Both my flatmates are planning a trip at the end of this year and I told them I already have some plans. They looked so downcast that it broke my heart.
I should clarify that I do go out with them on the weekends and I have taken trips with them on a number of occasions after moving in together.
They seem to want to do everything together whereas I want to be more independent. I have told them that they can do whatever they want together, I won’t be offended and I will join them if I feel like it.
They seemed okay with the idea but whenever I don’t want to be with them they seem to take it personally.
What is a good way of handling this situation? What am I doing wrong?