I’m a huge gym rat. I’ve been one for the last 2 years and it’s practically all I live for. I’m there almost every single day and all the regulars and trainers know me by now. Just by seeing me there though because I literally don’t talk to anyone. Which has turned into a super awkward state and I don’t know how to get out of there.
I honestly feel like a complete outcast. They all seem to be friends. Every regular is friends with every other regular. Except me. I’d love to try to get to know some of them but it’s been 2 years of me going there, getting my workout done and leaving. I say hi and bye to the trainers at the counter by the entrace and that’s about it.
This all sounds stupid as hell but I’m at the point where I feel so awkward that I’m genuinely thinking about switching gyms. Any advice would be appreciated because I love my gym.
13 comments
If you have one closer or nicer, go for it. I wouldn’t leave just because people don’t talk to you, unless it bothers you that badly. I do my workouts and nobody talks to me, I prefer it that way. Less time chatting, more time grinding, ya know.
I completely understand what you’re saying. Depends on the type of person you are and how social you are. I mean if I was in your shoes and I was two years in seeing the same people everyday and then saying “hi” or something that’s even more awkward….. just continue what you’re doing, who really gives a shit
Hey man. I was literally in this exact situation. I’m approaching 2 years at the gym and part of me like the anonymity of losing myself in my music, phone, and most importantly the workout.
But eventually I just started saying hi and making small chit chat.
Something like ‘man, you’re always here huh? home away from home?’ ‘you’re always grinding out here huh?’
Eventually I made acquaintances and friends with most of the regulars.
If this is the closest gym and you know where everything is and the vibe and the schedules of what’s available on certains days, I personally would not change gyms because of this.
My guy you know gym buddies are the easiest friends to make. All you gotta say is “What’s up” and boom you’re bros now. I legit will wave at random people in the gym and next time I see them they are asking me to workout with them. Ask a random guy to spot you on a heavy lift & best buds from there.
Relax it’s a gym not everyone goes there to socialize
If you want to know people there then just talk to them casually. If they know your name then you don’t need to introduce yourself.
They’re probably leaving you be because not everyone goes to the gym to socialize.
shiiiit I’ve been going to the gym for 13 years and haven’t talked to a single person lmfao
I can’t focus on the workout and the music AND talk to someone. 1 of the 3 things gotta go, and it ain’t the workout or the music
but yeah, say hi to someone and go from there
Depends on your mindset, it’s only awkward if you find it awkward. Im kinda in the same situation but im actually thankful for it? Lol
I just want to focus on my workout for an hour, and leave right after that. Dont want any distractions. I can socialize somewhere else
Do you want to be friends with everyone there or do you feel like you need to in order to fit in socially? What your body and mind say/contain is your own valid truth, and you’re allowed to feel how you feel and act how you act. So understand what is holding you back from doing what you want, may it be wanting to just get your workout in or wanting to be part of the gym community. Just show up and do your thing, may it be awkward or not. Don’t define yourself with the awkwardness, just know that part of your mind/body isn’t fully developed while other parts are, and it’s okay. Everyone starts and is at a different point in every skill, especially socializing. It’s okay to have bad days and good days, but they’re all just days. Go into your gym and notice what interests you, what you want, what can be done etc, then work on it. If you see a guy and you low key wanna connect, figure out how that’d look like for you, and just jump in the deep end. Without overthinking it, go bring your body over there and make some sort of connection or just let it be a possibility in your mind and work with it. If you let your mind think about talking to these people from a genuine place, you’ll start building desires in relation to it and the openings become clearer and clearer. You begin building a positive relationship to socializing instead of a avoidant and negative one where you’re just trying to escape and get by with each interaction. So you’re not avoiding nor desperately trying to be part of the community, but whatever opportunities present themselves, you can act on em.
I’m literally in the same situation lmao, i constantly think about switching gyms but i can’t. Because the gym i go to is 24/7 so it’s more convenient for me. But i get social anxiety from seeing the same people everyday and feeling judged. I feel like a weirdo.
I always assumed people don’t want to be bothered at the gym… probably because I don’t. If you really want to make friends go for it, but remember it’s not a bar
Changing gyms won’t help you, you will only go through the same thing. I doubt the people at your gym view you as an outcast but rather they probably feel intimidated by you or feel you dont want to talk with them because you haven’t put yourself out there. Wait for a chance to make some convo, learn their name and be friendly with them/ make some convo with them whenever you see them. Don’t try to be friends with everyone straight away as it might get a bit much but just try and let it flow but the important bit is letting them know you actually are interested by knowing their name and remembering things about them etc.
I have witnessed nearly zero conversations happen between regulars at my gym, which I am also a regular at. The staff and members do recognize me. No one talks at all.
They’re not focused on you, they are focused on their workouts.
If you feel like socializing, ask a Strongbro what it took for him to get so strong. He’ll probably tell you all about it