My bf (20M) verbally abused me (18F) over me being ‘over dramatic’ and lacking ‘emotional intelligence.’ What should I do and was I being overdramatic?

My boyfriend verbally abuses me but I’m not sure if I’m being dramatic.

I (f18) have been with my bf (20) for 6 month’s officially but we we’ve been exclusive for a year. We are very compatible and when we are good, it is perfect. I don’t want to depict him unfairly. We definitely have good days and days where he treats me like a queen.

However, a couple nights ago we were on call and after about half an hour, he spent an hour texting someone whilst we were on call. I tried multiple times to get his attention but he would either ignore me or tell me to give him a second. He then finally brought his attention back to me (or so I thought) and then he preceded to tell me to give him a second and he ended the call. He still hadn’t texted me for 20 minutes so I went to bed since it was now 2am. What made it worse was he said we could have a virtual game night.

I felt very ignored and unwanted so I voiced this to him the next day. He didn’t tell me who he was talking to or what was so important that he had to ignore me, just that it was ‘private’. He did apologise but I felt like it was very childish and shallow as it offered no explanation or reasoning, simply ‘I’m sorry, I love you, I won’t do it again.’ Past things he has done has made me very insecure so I told him that I didn’t feel any better. He accused me of wanting to fight and holding a grudge. He said I shouldn’t care since it wasn’t a girl.

He then changed the subject to an organisation we run together. One of the articles on our site had spelling errors and although I didn’t write the article nor am I in charge of editing , he blamed me. He said it was embarrassing and that I don’t take the work we do seriously like him and another guy on the team and essentially attributed to a gender thing. Funny thing is, the the responsibility of the mistake laid in the hands of two males. His tone was very demeaning and he essentially told me I don’t act like a co founder when I’ve put so much into the company.

He then took hours to respond between each message and finally came back, telling me he misses me and whatnot. The first time we called, he started masturbating on video call even though I was still upset so I ended the call. He said I need to be more fun, then he comes back again all loving a few hours later. I’m still upset, and his apology just feels transactional and not heartfelt. It’s like he has a script he uses every time he hurts me. He did tell me who he was texting ng and showed me screenshots but he didn’t get that I can still feel ignored when he talks to a guy.

He ended the call, called me petty and immature and cussed me out (stupid b****, f****** sl*t, the r word amongst others). He says I’m emotionally unintelligent and overeacting so I ignore him and go to sleep.

I wake up to him sending me an [instagram reel](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CvNyvB_M5Cc/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==)(

It basically shows this girl treating her guy with foot massages, food and sex when he gets home. He then says I don’t even like cooking for him. This wasn’t true until he became me overly dependent on me. Whilst we were at uni, I’d make him roast chicken, potatoes, steak, taco’s etc. However, he wouldn’t help me clean or cook, he left crumbs all over my desks, would cuss me out and pour coke into my food when he didn’t get what he wanted. Why didn’t he just eat the food I already made? He doesn’t like pasta. When we would order food, he would never pick it up by myself (I usually went alone) and I thought that was unfair since I cooked. At some point, cooking became a chore and I couldn’t bring myself to cook even if it was for me.

Anyways, he said I was fing clapped, he could do better in every way and called me all sorts of cuss words like r***** sl*t.

I don’t know what to do. We just had the most perfect date and he was everything I wanted. I’m not sure if I dragged out the issue (maybe he’s s just permanently damaged me with his verbal abuse). He recently called me an ugly *racial slur*. I don’t know if I can leave him because of our company. I don’t want to be forced to leave and I love our good moments. We are also living in the same uni halls next year so thats fun.
I’d appreciate any advice as this verbal abuse has gone on since before we got together and so extensively it doesn’t hurt me. Thank you 🙂