The other day, my best friend brought up how she thinks I should have a conversation with this girl I don’t like. Let’s call her Hannah. Hannah previously dated my BF(years ago) and has been dating someone new for 2 years. Her new bf just so happens to be good friends with my bf and some people in my close friend group. Hannah and her bf used to come around our friend group until she was getting very inappropriate and disrespectful towards me.
A few examples are: whenever she would be around my bf, she would comment to me saying how cute he is, how much she loves him, etc. Then I caught her sitting on my bfs lap one time, she also will constantly have her arm around his shoulders. She also made several inappropriate sexual comments to him IN FRONT of me. The final straw was she pulled me aside one time to ask how our relationship is and questioned me on what “we even do for fun together” and then proceeded to try and get info on our relationship.
I told my bf a year ago that I was done hanging out with her. He agreed and is on my side 100%. I don’t feel the need to have a “heart to heart” with her and let her know she bothers me. I feel like it will give her power over me and I’ll be seen as a weak, jealous girl. I’d rather just ignore her, and act unbothered. I do sometimes run into her at group events and I’m always cordial.
My best friend however was saying she thinks I need to tell Hannah how I feel because I can’t avoid her forever. I understand that, but none of the girls in our group like her. We feel bad for her boyfriend because he is really sweet, but we cannot stand Hannah. She’s not a girls girl. My friend apparently feels bad for leaving them out of group situations and was kind of blaming me for it. She says they’re questioning why they haven’t been invited to as many things.
I feel hurt by her making a request to me. I don’t want to be Hannah’s friend regardless if I tell her how she’s made me feel in the past. I don’t want to mend things with her.
My best friend is threatening to tell Hannah herself because she feels caught in the middle, even though I’ve never asked her to not invite them places.
How do I handle this situation?
Tl;Dr my best friend wants me to have a hard conversation/mend things with my enemy so she feels better about the situation.
2 comments
>My friend apparently feels bad for leaving them out of group situations and was kind of blaming me for it. She says they’re questioning why they haven’t been invited to as many things.
Your friend is welcome to hang out with Hannah on her own. It’s your choice whether you decide to make amends with Hannah or not, or invite her to your socials.
Just know that it sounds like the way you’re treating Hannah seems to be influencing your relationship with your best friend, but as long as you know the consequences of different options you take, we’re not really in a position to say what you should choose.
I think you need a new best friend, one who respects your decisions and understands boundaries.