I’ve found that recently I’ve been withdrawing (at least subconsciously) from friendships and relationships. I don’t want to see them. It’s not that I don’t like them, or even love them, but the idea of going out of my way to meet up with them, go out, do anything sounds exhausting and I find myself wanting to avoid meetups and dates. When someone asks when we can next meet up, I want to push it off as far as possible so I have more time to be alone, and I feel guilty for feeling that way.
I feel it’s important to mention that recently (past 6 months or so) I’ve been dealing with some pretty crippling agoraphobia-like symptoms and I’ve had a hard time leaving the house, so I have no doubt that influences some of the “don’t want to be around other humans” thing.
I guess my question is: Is this a normal feeling to have? (Not the agoraphobia obviously, I know that that’s a problem and am chipping away at it)
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Definitely a normal feeling to have, and no need to feel guilty. Sometimes we go through periods of life where we need to retreat and spend some time to ourselves.
The agoraphobia you already know about and are already handling it so no need to say anything about that.
Sometimes the sudden need to rest and retreat from others (not talking about those who innately have this need as part of their personality) comes directly after a time of trauma or from a time of intense busy-ness and rushing around, and so a period of restoration often follows in order to gain back power and energy. We all burn out at some point. (I wonder if the agoraphobia was triggered by the same thing that is currently causing you to feel the need to retreat.)
Regardless of why it’s happening though, I always say don’t judge yourself for where you are and listen to what your body and your mind are telling you that they need. Forcing yourself to go out and party and socialize when you don’t want to or don’t have the energy to usually doesn’t end up well. At some point, after your period of rest and hibernation, you will likely once again feel the desire to go out and socialize and party your heart out. We all go through different seasons of life.
No one on here is a therapist though, so if you want a therapists’ opinion, I would suggest finding one. For the “social skills” part of this, I would just suggest letting your friends know what is going on and let them know it’s not personal, so that they don’t take it personally and so it’s one less thing for you to worry about.
In the meantime, don’t be too hard on yourself. No need to feel guilty, it seems to me that you’re going through something hard right now. Take care of yourself and take this time to let yourself fully rest and heal.
I think it is a completely normal thing to feel. I’m sure you love your friends and want to spend time with them. I think it’s best to let your friends know about your phobia and symptoms. They should understand that you will need plenty of rest. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty about that fact. If they can’t respect you, then they will only take advantage. Make yourself a priority for a while. Create time for lots of rest, balance your schedule, and take naps again. Drink plenty of water, also hydrate with many melons and their juices. Eat plenty of green vegetables to get some more energy. Stretch get some fresh air and be creative. Connect with yourself and try again. Whenever you are ready of course. 🫶🏾
There’s a good chance that what you’re experiencing is burn out. This can follow after a period of trauma, stress or extended social/physical exertion (mostly leading from you mentioning feeling exhausted). it’s actually more complicated than just “being really tired” and might be worth exploring: https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/signs-sociopath (also ignore the link, nothing to do with sociopathy)
Ironically one of the ways of working through burnout is not extended periods of rest, but actually to do things, just different than what you have been. Changing your environment (taking a trip) trying a new hobby, or even looking at changing your living situation (if it’s making you unhappy). Just trying new things in general (recipes, that museum you’ve been meaning to visit, trying a hiking trail) can be really helpful in kickstarting your interest and energy again.
Hope this can be of some help!
Social burnout?
This is not meant with any judgement whatsoever, but no, it’s not a normal feeling to have. It may be increasingly normal as more people deal with things like anxiety or agoraphobia, but this state of affairs itself is not normal either.
Something’s gone horribly wrong with society.
Is this a pattern? It could be just a cycle of being social then having self time.
I’ve had feelings like this before. For me, it was a defense mechanism to sort of pre-emptively reject other people so that they couldn’t reject me. It’s also a very good sign of depression. My advice would be to fight against those feelings as hard as you can, because they can often become habits that are extremely hard to break.