When did you stop looking for ‘the one’ and how did your life change after that ?

16 comments

1. I stopped looking several times. I have had several long term relationships. I stopped looking for ‘the one’ during all of those relationships, except one.

   Most of the relationships ended amicably, except one.

   I was married to a woman for 18 years. I had decided that she was the one, or that she would become the one. Biggest mistake of my life.

   While we were still married, I met a woman that accepted me for who I am and I accepted for who she was. We could talk. She is intelligent.

   I divorced my first wife. My new woman divorced her husband. Nastiness all around. My new woman and I moved in together. Later we married.

   I was talking to a friend who told me that he was madly and passionately in love with his wife and I realize that was exactly felt about my new wife. She was and is ‘the one.’

2. I’ve never looked for ‘the one,’ I’m looking for any one and that’s hard enough already 😂

3. Mid 20’s? Nothing changed, I never found someone before looking for “the one” and I never found anyone after being willing to take anyone.

4. I’m much happier on my own. I have two kids (teenagers) and in my mid 30’s. Don’t want anymore kids and don’t have the patience for anyone else. Being able to do what I want when I want is much more important to me.

5. I never really looked. I dont stay single real long, them ladies are thirsty.

6. Watch Andrew Tate. His videos will change your life

7. M28 just gotten out of a 4 year relationship and sorting out a house between us. It’s a shit show. I’ll let you know the answer In like 6 months. 😅😅 The biggest change I need to make is to put myself first. Learnt I would put the relationship and her first. So now I gotta put myself first and I don’t even know what that really looks like

8. Early twenties. It was necessary to give up all those last childish dreams including the concept of “the one” to reach maturity. At first it was painful, but soon it felt relieving. No more fear of not finding her.

9. 7 years ago my ex was finally arrested after months of abuse and stalking me, That tends to make you stop looking for anything.

10. I’d say sometime in my mid-20s. Had many rejections in high school and college. This continued steadily and, thinking of statistical probability and cost/benefit analysis, it just became a pointless endeavor. At 36 and single, I’ll never get married. There’s absolutely no point. Too much risk and nearly zero reward.

11. I have 7 aunts. I watched them and my mother terrorize a combined 12 men. I heard the way they spoke about how they pick men with my grandmother. I knew what to listen for. I had a long term relationship. came home early to hear my gf on the phone with her mother about forcing a commitment with poked condoms. Girlfriend said, thats what she has to do and she thinks ill be a great fathert. was a speedy and complete breakup and going NC. After that, I lost all will for relationships at all. “The one” exists the same way as a fisher with a 1 fish limit catches “The One”.

12. I’m very confident my ex was the one. I have no desire for any new relationship but it’s been replaced by a desire to do right by the people I already have.

13. Immediately because there isn’t any “the one” OP.

14. Early 20s after the break up of a relationship.
    Turns out I ended up finding the one 3 months later and delighted to say that 13 yrs later, I couldn’t ever imagine anyone else by my side. Funny how life turns out sometimes.

15. 2 Divorces made me stop looking altogether. No apps, no matchmakers, no blind dates. I went out a few times, but nothing ever went anywhere. I was fine being alone- 52, happy, busy, stable, doing what I wanted, when I wanted.

    Then SHE showed up out of nowhere. I never knew what hit me, had no idea what was going on, and I had no defense. She was perfect for me, literally could not have dreamed up anyone better for me. Funny thing is that she thinks SHE’s the lucky one (she’s wrong on that one…). I put a ring on her finger after a bit over 2 years, but honestly I knew after just a couple of months it was going to be her. My entire life has been turned upside down in the best way possible. We’re planning to get married and start a family (!!). Best relationship of my life, and I’ve never been happier.

    ​

    Thing is, all that happened when I wasn’t trying or looking. Probably not what you were looking for, but there it is.

16. When she proposed in no uncertain terms. No drama, no romance, just a straight up – Are you going to marry me?

    Knew she was the one.