I posted about this last night asking if it was a dealbreaker. I’ve come to the conclusion that the deception is definitely a dealbreaker for me. (I said we’d been together 6 months but I did the math and it’s been closer to 8)
Before we became intimate, I disclosed that I had been tested very recently and was clean, he said the same.
A few months ago, I started finding these beat up blue pills in my dryer after he did laundry. I looked them up online and they looked like a herpes medication (acyclovir). But I wasn’t 100% sure because they were in bad shape and I thought I might be reading them wrong.
I asked him about it casually and he said they were “zinc pills” or something. He was pretty vague but said they’re definitely not for herpes. I trusted him and we continued the relationship.
Last night, I found a fully intact pill in the dryer. They are indeed acyclovir. I am hurt, frustrated and worried about my health, which I’ve been struggling with lately for other unrelated reasons of which he is aware.
Is there a chance he’s using this medication for something other than herpes?
He generally treats me very well otherwise, and though we do bicker, we’ve become super close and I’m afraid of hurting him.
How should I go about confronting him? I know doing it in person is more respectful but I’m not great with confrontation and I’m afraid he’ll get angry.
TLDR: it looks like my boyfriend has been lying about having herpes. How would you confront him if you were in my shoes?
21 comments
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He purposely put your health at risk, tell him it’s over, and get tested. If it comes back positive tell him you’re suing his ass. What a CREEEEEEP
Confront him directly.
You have to do it in person, you suspect him of lying to you (i mean the pill is what it is, there’s no way about it), so if you go over text, you give him time to think and come up with another story (if he’s been lying indeed).
ALWAYS do it face to face, no way back. Just tell him you need him to be very honest as this is super important to you. Then proceed to ask him about the pills and tell him you know it’s acyclovir, which isn’t a Zinc pill (idk about that, check those facts to know for sure). Then see how he reacts. That’s all you can do.
If he starts twisting the subject by accusing you of distrust or going through his stuff or whatever, then you know what’s up.
Definitely don’t be afraid of him getting angry. That’s just a means for him to get away with things and you should never back down for anyone just because you’re afraid of controntation.
What the hell are the pills doing in your dryer, though??? To the best of my knowledge, if someone is taking regular anti-virals for HSV1 or HSV2, their viral load is close to 0 and therefore very close to or non-transmissible. But whyyyyy are his pills in your dryer? But someone just straight-up lying about their HSV status would be a dealbreaker for me because of the lie?
Police report, immediately! And get tested…he can pass it, even with no symptoms.
He lied to you about the pills. I’d tell him that you know he lied about the pills, and there is no acceptable excuse for that. Therefore it’s over and you never want to see him again.
Don’t worry about hurting him. He wasn’t worried about hurting you. Don’t worry about being respectful toward him, he didn’t even give you that courtesy.
Tell him no he can’t come over. Break up on the phone and never see him again.
You need answers ASAP he’s putting your health at risk and lying about it. There is no reason to have that medication other than its intended purpose. Just straight up ask him again.
If he was taking them for something other than herpes, why not just tell you so.
Look, *he* should be terrified of making *you* angry, and you absolutely should be angry. He lied to you about being clean and he’s not even taking the damn meds, which means there’s a very good chance he’s passed it to you.
Edit: sent too soon.
There’s no easy way to have this conversation. You need to tell him outright you know what the meds are for and why did he lie. I’d record this conversation for your own sake.
Yikes. That’s a huge lie considering he was taking medicine for it.
You deserve a partner that is honest with you and allows you to make informed decisions about your sexual health. While Acyclovir also treats other forms of herpes like shingles,oral herpes and chickenpox it is most commonly used to treat genital herpes.
You should ask him what the acyclovir pills are for and tell him he will need to show you a test if he denies having Herpes. Ensure that he gets tested for herpes specifically.
Dont freak out, chances that you are infected are rather low. However, it is a good idea to get tested. Trust is broken so you will have to consider ending the relationship. Hope it all turns out well 🙂
With a fake positive HIV test…don’t listen to me I sm bad person and there is better real solutions here.
You know he could be taking it for a cold sore, right?
Before you go and kill him in his sleep… he could be taking them for mouth sores or cold sores.
GOOD for you.
The fact that he has to take medicine for jt, knows it’s so bad that he won’t even tell you the truth, and is willing to hurt you for the rest of your life… should say enough. You get to make the choices about YOUR body. You can actually sue him for non consent.
There’s so many people on Reddit that have herpes and weren’t responsible to get tested and would rather have “fun”… and they try to pass it off as “no big deal”
And the medical industry has some weird agenda to not test people for it- I think they want everyone to get it so they can make a vaccine for it and get money
That medicine is used for all forms of herpes (chickenpox, shingles, genital herpes, cold sores(also herpes) so.. The dude has herpes, or knows someone who has herpes(if the meds weren’t his)
He lied, why lie? That in itself is a deal breaker especially because of what it revolves around (herpes)
Yes it’s embarrassing.. But if it was just for chickenpox, shingles or a cold sore… Why lie?
I’d put the pill down and show him a picture of the med on you phone.. and tell him know you that this medication is for herpes. And wait for his response.
Get tested asap. Not only did he lie to you, he put your health at risk and couldn’t even be bothered to keep up with his medication.
He has herpes and he’s lying to you.
He willfully put your sexual health at risk.
Dump him like the hot garbage he is.
Why are you so hung up about being respectful to someone who has shown you and your body no respect whatsoever? Your BF repeatedly lied about having a disease so that you’d sleep with him.
Get your bags ready and a place to go to sorted, and then just tell your BF the situation as it is, ignore any BS that comes after and leave. Every extra day your waste on this guy, is another day in your youth that you’re never getting back.
Let me just frame it this way for a sec: He chose his own sexual climax over your health. Even if he has genuine feelings for you and just didn’t wanna risk losing you. He weighed all those things out and chose himself.
The fact that he has to take medicine for jt, knows it’s so bad that he won’t even tell you the truth, and is willing to hurt you for the rest of your life… should say enough. You get to make the choices about YOUR body. You can actually sue him for non consent.
There’s so many people on Reddit that have herpes and weren’t responsible to get tested and would rather have “fun”… and they try to pass it off as “no big deal”
And the medical industry has some weird agenda to not test people for it- I think they want everyone to get it so they can make a vaccine for it and get money