so as the title says, every time for the last month or two my boyfriend has stopped foreplay like pressed full on pause to see if he feels like he needs to pee, then he will 9/10 go to pee. this ruins the mood and usually when he comes back I’m not in the mood to then go and have sex and the all the work the foreplay does is just for nothing. it wasn’t always like this though, we’ve been having sex for 2 years now and only a couple of months ago did this randomly start every time we want to have sex. its annoying but he says he just doesn’t want to pee while inside me. he has never peed inside me before and there has not been an incident were its almost happened so this has just come out of the blue. I’ve suggested that may the ‘needing to pee’ feel is just little bits of pleasure but he says he doesn’t know. he’s also said then when he does go to pee its not like he bursting its just a very small amount of piss. can anyone advise what to do here cos I’ve told him to just ignore it and carry on but he always stops to go pee for 5 mins killing the mood. can anyone help with suggestions on why this is suddenly happening or what we can do to stop it?
8 comments
Short of getting into “water sports”, probably he needs to think about seeing a urologist if it is really an issue.
Tell him he needs to try to go potty before you start foreplay.
How old are you and your bf?
This honestly sounds like a non-issue being escalated by two people who both see this action as a sex dealbreaker, albeit from opposite ends.
Maybe for him it’s legitimately uncomfortable? Maybe he has a leaky dick? Maybe it’s all mental?
Maybe this is just his quirk.
Sounds pretty innocuous and kinda inconsequential tbh.
Unfortunately even me as a female has to get up and pee right before my husband and I also have sex
Sounds like an anxiety thing to me, he’s gotten the thought that he might pee in you in his head and can’t relax until he’s peed because of that. Have you asked him about how this started?
If he is peeing for 5 minutes, maybe he’s jerking off? Has he had issues lasting in bed in the past? Perhaps this is his way of conquering that issue? Jerk off real quick so he can go for round 2 with PIV and last longer? Idk. Just throwing out a possible reason. You would have to ask him though.
As a man, I think he’s lying to you, almost certainly. First of all, a man does not pee while fully erect, and second of all, assuming he’s younger than 40 (you left this information out), young men only need to pee 2 or 3 times a day, at most 5 times a day, unless they drink a lot of caffeine or alcohol. For sure, once a younger man pees, he’s good for hours. Therefore, this bf could easily make a point of peeing as soon as you and he arrive at home, before foreplay starts.
And this behavior only started after 2 years of a sexual relationship. That’s really strong evidence he’s got an emergent emotional issue.
About peeing while sexually aroused, recently there was a fierce discussion here about whether that is totally impossible physiologically, or just very difficult(!). The male body has a mechanism for blocking the flow of urine while the man has an erection. Such that, when a man gets the urge to pee while erect, it’s a weak urge and easy to suppress.
In fairness to him, there is a way that he is not BS-ing you: if he has an emergent medical condition. Medical conditions that might cause this urinary disturbance hardly ever emerge before age 45. These conditions include bladder cancer, prostate cancer, and noncancerous prostate enlargement (BPH).
Frequent urge to pee, especially when aroused, could be a sign he has an enlarged prostate. He should go to the doctor and get an examination. Enlarged prostate could = cancer. The earlier the diagnosis the better the outcome.