I was in a long term relationship with my ex boyfriend. He was the first person I had sex with and he was great in bed. He would make sure I came each time either with his fingers or mouth (I can’t from piv) and genuinely enjoyed it. The relationship ended for other reasons and I’ve been with two other people since then. One was a hook-up, who tried with his fingers but couldn’t. Which, fair enough, at least he tried.
The other guy I was seeing casually for 2-3 months, and he never attempted to make me cum even after I told him that I can’t from piv. He just said that oh yeah, most girls can’t and did nothing about it. He had also been in a long term relationship earlier, so I was very confused with his attitude.
Is this how its going to be? I feel like I never realized I was “lucky” that my ex did all of that since I thought that was a given in a relationship. Or do most guys only try to pleasure their partners when its more serious? Do I just straight up ask the man I’m seeing if he cares about female pleasure? Cause its very important to me, and I make sure I return the favour because I like making them happy.
I just really miss the orgasms I used to have with my ex. They never reach the same intensity when I try to masturbate.
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6 comments
Yup…time to get a new boyfriend. Sounds like the current one doesn’t care about your satisfaction and never will. Unfortunately, there are a number of men out there just like that. The good ones, however, will strive to make sure you orgasm.
First of all that guy who said “most girls can’t” and then did nothing, is a loser. Don’t touch people who don’t make an effort for you. You owe them nothing, and you can take it as far as “I won’t make you cum again until you’ve made me cum”, if you have to.
What I recommend for you right now is to get really comfortable with yourself. Be honest with yourself about your wants, needs, and desires, so you communicate them to lovers. Learn to speak openly and honestly about it, and keep communicating during sex. They’ll never know the things you never say. Coach them a little.
Also, if you have no sex toys the first one you should get is the Hitachi Magic Wand (cordless rechargeable). It’s a staple for clitoral stimulation. Then explore what else the market has to offer. See what excites you. Play solo often. Get to know your sexuality deeply. It’s a huge spectrum. The more confident you are playing alone, the more confident you’ll be when trying to get the sex you want and deserve.
In my opinion what I discovered in my thirties, is that people have sexual personalities. I found that my girlfriend and I align well with our sexual temperaments. I also feel that I discovered this in my thirties cause I also became a more effective listener and communicator. In my opinion try finding people that communicate well. This will help not just in the bedroom
When I was single, most of my partners just did what they did with no attempt to get me to finish. When I explained tactfully, they were either defensive or devastated, or I was treated like I was “hard to please”. Oh, please.
I would try to have a casual discussion before sex and see what he likes, if he likes giving oral(yay) or what his preferences are. Good lovers are out there. Try to find one before you are intimate.
Eventually after talking to a guy for a while I have recently started asking them if they enjoy eating pussy because it really sucks hitting it off with someone in alot of different ways, going on dates then hooking up and finding out they don’t eat pussy or do much foreplay at all.
You’ll find one.