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1. Being genuinely interested in other people, asking questions. I get told a lot by my current and new friends that they feel comfortable around me, and they can see me hanging out with many different types of people.
It helps to find something to love in the encounters you have. Noticing the common ground, being honest if you don’t understand something.
2. Intentional Presentation
Asking yourself what it means to fully physically embody yourself. Are you in an outfit that makes you comfortable? Are you confident in what you are physically projecting (clothes / accessories / makeup : grooming) that accentuate your favorite features?
I have steps to getting ready and they sort of act as a ritual to prime myself before getting out of my comfort zone. Confidence comes from knowing you are intentional with these decisions.
3. You can also mentally note a roster of topics that can start conversation. For me recently it’s been a common travel destination with new people I met, the perfume I was wearing, etc. This being said I hate small talk, and often get into real and raw conversations about life and philosophies within a short time meeting people. I find that more often than not people love meeting someone who can be honest so they have the safe space to be honest as well.
* It’s also important to take the temperature in interactions. Match the energy of the person. If someone is closed off you can respect those boundaries until they warm up. The industry I work in is more diverse, and definitely helps my experience. Putting yourself in an environment with open-minded people will set you up for success. You can’t have the same immediate connection with say, more insular communities who pride themselves on being closed off.
Just be yourself!! It always works, people will naturally gravitate towards you, don’t be pushy