M/25. How did you get rid of all self conciousness related to being naked in frony of another for intimate stuff? I’m actually naked right now. I’ve decided that when I have the house to myself I’m just gonna get naked and do normal stuff. Maybe I’m crazy but perhaps that could help.

5 comments

  2. I think you have the right idea, spend more time naked on your own and get comfortable, in time your confidence will grow and partners generally appreciate confidence

  3. Hey, dude with body issues here, happy to help.

    I’ve always been a bigger guy. Not really fat (except for a brief period that I got over), but I’ve always had a gut. A build somewhere between bear and dad bod to put it in positive language (which is important). Not saying your physique is like mine, but honestly any shape you’re not happy with being is a good analogue.

    First thing, you have no idea what your partners find attractive. Like, they can straight up tell you in plain language, and you still won’t internalize it unless it’s also what you find attractive. You absolutely *have* to take their word for it. It’s just how brains work.

    I’m going to assume you have sex with women here since you didn’t specify. Let me tell you something I’ve learned over the years… Dudes *really* don’t get what women find attractive. Life has not prepared us. The media has lied to us… All the dudes put on screen as thirst traps for hetero women? Sure, women might find them attractive, but the media is still powered by the male gaze. Those are the dudes that men are giving the women to look at because men think the women want to look at them. So trust the actual women when they tell you.

    I look in the mirror, I’m not really all that happy with my body from the neck down. But my wife loves it. So I go with it. That’s all you can do.

    And as for intimate situations? Rest assured, if she’s getting naked with you, she’s already passed judgement on that front, and found you worthy.

    So start treating yourself like you’re desirable to the women who are have already told you that you’re desirable with the simple and clear language of getting naked with you. Think about your body in the terms of the sexually attractive group you call into (bear, dad bod, twink, twunk, etc…). Language informs thought, so that part is more important than people give it credit for.

    Don’t overthink it. If she gets naked with you, she thinks you’re hot. If she thinks you’re hot, you are hot. And if you’re hot, others also think so. It’s an upward spiral. A positive feedback loop. Enjoy being you.

  4. Honestly I just assume that by the time clothing is coming off they wanna see me naked. I’ve yet to be wrong

  5. Couldn’t say directly what happened honestly, I just got to a point in college where IDGAF mostly…
    I (M) was tall and pretty skinny with hardly any muscle or mass, so in all actuality, I didn’t feel super secure about my body; I definitely wasn’t super attractive, but the girls I had been with didn’t seem to care and the girls I hooked up with seemed into me regardless, so I stopped thinking about it as much…

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