I’m (29F) recently single and was feeling frisky. I met a guy (36M) from a dating site and I was definitely acting dtf. 🫣 We hooked up and it felt more than just sex. We intensely cuddled all night and the conversations came easy. We’re texting a little after but I’m not sure what I want or what he wants. Not used to 1. Sex first 2. This limbo period. Thoughts?
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Open your mouth and communicate with him.
“Hey, that was a lot of fun. I felt like we had a connection. It seems like you might feel that way, too. Is this something you are wanting to explore?”
The thing is, men are almost like real people, and they react differently to pretty much anything. We can’t tell you what he’s thinking – you’ll have to talk with him to figure that out.
Follow your gut. If it feels pleasant, keep it going, if now, end it.
There are absolutely no set “rules” to how casual sex goes.
Some people like it to be very wham-bam with no emotional connection. Other people like a fuller sexual experience that includes other levels of intimacy to it…but with no expectation of a *commitment*.
In other words, what defines casual sex is the idea that it’s not meant to be leading to a relationship but the *kind of sex* doesn’t have to be any different.
Most girls I hooked up w, I would’ve been happy to date tbh. Just things planned out as a hook up situation that fizzled.
Communicate w him. Ask him for a drink, or a lunch, or coffee, or dinner, or whatever. It might be a bit scary if you said, out the gate, “I’m not sure what I want, but maybe a relationship”.
But if he’s down w a date, and continues them, then you know he’s happy doing a little more than hooking up. That’s when you might start talking about how you feel, even just telling him how comfy you are talking w him. Test the waters, see how he reacts. If a couple dates go well, you’re into it, he’s into it, you should ask if he’d be down for a more exclusive commitment
Idk most of my relationships started with sex first, then feelings after. I think that’s pretty common.
It’s not uncommon for casual sex to lead to an LTR. Sometimes, you discover that you have great chemistry in that first encounter. Talk to him, but don’t overthink it. If he’s still texting you, chances are he’s still interested in you on some level. If you had a good time and he had a good time, well then that’s great! continue seeing each other and see how things play out. My current LTR started as a casual hookup some years ago. I wasn’t looking for a relationship, and neither was she; but we decided to keep seeing each other bc the sex was amazing, and we had great chemistry, and not long after, we both realized we had intense feelings for each other. So, we had a discussion about it, took things slow, and let things unfold naturally. We are now very much in love and in a committed relationship. On the other hand, if it turns out you want a relationship and he doesn’t, or vice versa, you should consider moving on before someone gets hurt.
I second everything that’s been said before, and I’d add that 100% of my long relationship (including my now fiancée) have started with first date sex. So it’s definitely not impossible, just depends on people.