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I found most of them on lifestyle websites and apps because it was far easier to deal with others that were familiar with the type of relationship that we had.
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My partner doesn’t “let” me, as I’m an adult and I have agency. But my current nesting partner and I met first on OKCupid, then at a private BDSM party, had our first date at a swingers club, and fell in love volunteering in our local polyamory community. We’ve been polyamorous since before we met. My other partner I met on OKCupid. Previous partners have been through OKC or through mutual friends or through the local kink community. I haven’t been very active with dating since about 2017, but I’ve been browsing Feeld lately.