Things escalated fast.
He invited me to on a nice planned date but instead of going on the date he kept me there with his emotional state.
We didn’t go on the date instead I had to go console him for 15 hours without any food or water.
He wouldn’t let me go, I was too scared to run out.
He has trauma from his mother dying recently (or so he says) and broke down. I kept saying I was unwell ( i became unwell as i knew i was imprisoned) and he swore at me.
He wanted the sole focus on his problem, I was dismissed from being unwell. He said “if you leave you will kill me”.
I later realised he had been drinking alone.
Instead of a romantic date I got his problems, his trauma and false promises of future plans (which i didn’t respond to).
I kept saying I’m ill out of hunger which didn’t bother him. There wasn’t even water.
I fled in the end after promising to come back quickly.
I have ignored his calls until today.
Somehow he has me scared and emotionally connected. I don’t want to see or hear from him again but need to phase him out as i don’t want his emotional state to worsen and he does something silly. He knows roughly where i live.
What do i do to phase him out.
(Telling him why will not work as he will explode. I need a fast exit. the illness has bought me some time).
TDLR: He arranged a false date only to not carry it through and give me his problems instead. He was disinterested in anything i had to say unless it related to his problems.
3 comments
You do not phase him out. He is an abuser and a manipulator, and you don’t cater to abusers or manipulators; all that does is give them a chance to abuse and/or manipulate you into losing your resolve, so that you stay, so that they can abuse/manipulate you *more*.
What you do is: You walk away, block him on *everything*, and never have any communication with him any more.
> i don’t want his emotional state to worsen and he does something silly.
His emotional state is not your responsibility; if he does something “silly”, that’s on him, not on you. But he’s not *actually* going to do anything; he’s using the threat that he *will* do something (and the guilt that he knows you would feel about it) as a way to emotionally manipulate you into staying.
Walk away. Never look back.
Run
And go get therapy so you can learn better boundaries
He’s your ex according to your other post.