If aliens demanded to meet the most universally cool person from each state or they’ll destroy us, who would you send?

47 comments

1. Kelly Slater

2. Aliens. Pffft. *pours them drinks and gets out more fireworks.* welcome to the party.

   It’s Florida. Any one of us will do.

3. Terry Crews

4. John Stewart—- Jersey

5. Does it have to be a celebrity? I’d pick either my mom or one of my undergard professors.

6. Myself. Fuck all y’all I wanna meet an alien.

7. Probably a happy go lucky Filipino guy

8. Jewel.

   C’mon man… it’s Utah. “Cool” is slim pickings.

9. Obama with a microphone and in Sponge Bob pajamas.

10. I’d send Dave Chapelle for Ohio.

11. SoCal is overflowing with cool ppl, but my first thought was Tony Hawk. dudes a fuckin legend

12. george clooney

13. Texas – Willie Nelson

14. I’m from Jersey, so it would have to be Bruce Springsteen.

15. I’m gonna send Kanye West to just end it all for us. Just call it the giant reset.

16. Obviously Jeff Goldblum. How else do we lower the force field?

17. As a Floridian, I nominate myself.

18. Do they have to be alive? Either way, I’d send Prince. The aliens can sort it out.

19. Tough one, but maybe Bill Murray

20. Eminem and Gretchen Whitmer. Might as well.be as confused as we are.

21. McConaughey

22. For Michigan it HAS to be Jeff Bridges… Right??? I mean, he’s the Dude!

23. Wisconsin… Bob Uecker or Giannis.

24. Springsteen I guess, given that Sinatra is dead.

    But I’d be tempted to send Danny Devito for the lols.

25. Although not born in Arizona he did grow up here. I will send Alice Cooper.

26. Missy Elliott, obviously.

27. Charles Barkley.

28. It would have been Chadwick Boseman. RIP 🙅🏻‍♀️

29. Outkast

30. Burt Reynolds. Tom Selleck you could make a case for too since he was Magnum P.I. We’ll throw Dr. Ken Jeong in there too.

31. Georgia, I’d send Killer Mike, with Ludacris and Big Boi as alternates.

32. Anna Kendrick

    Probably the coolest currently living Mainer that anyone’s heard of at least.

    Stephen King basically doesn’t count anymore since he’s been in Florida the past 15+ years

33. Bad Bunny

34. Can Derek Jeter count for New York in this case, or do we have to give him to Michigan by birth?

35. Tony Hawk???? Fuck that! I’m Sending Snoop Dogg and trash bag full of weed. He’ll hotbox that spaceship and take it over.

36. John Green. May be about our only option.

37. Danny DeVito

38. Pink…

39. Man, I live in Nebraska all of our coolest people are dead. Hillary Swank maybe if it has to be someone alive.

40. Probably not the “coolest” but probably most well liked probably Drew Carey or Halle Berry. LeBron James would probably be “coolest”. I’d put Neil Armstrong up there too for his space factor.

41. Garth Brooks

42. Depending on your definition of cool, Jimmy Carter

43. Dolly Parton

44. Dave Grohl. He seems like a pretty cool guy.

45. Rudd or Sudekis

46. Tennessee – Dolly Parton

47. J Law is probably a safer bet than Johnny Depp at this point. But really the most universally cool person in Kentucky is probably minding their own business making moonshine in their shed while being a secret astrophysics supergenius.