How do men get their “father strength” once they have kids?

34 comments

  2. you get a good workout hauling your kid around everyday, you just don’t realize you’re building strength … until one day

  3. They lick their pups clean and eat the placenta, sometimes there is a battle to the death with their father to inherit its strength, but those are becoming a rare occurrence nowadays.

  4. In my experience, most men get fat and lazy after kids.

    Those who don’t lift. Maybe a little cardio.

  5. I just remember those days as such a chaotic time, it felt in retrospect like a blend of paranoia, pride.

  6. If I understand your question correctly you need to think about it this way. Yes, you love your child and are there to protect them. It is also nice if they actually like you but that isn’t going to be correct their whole life. You are an ass at one time or another especially preteen to 20’s. That is when they are smarter than you are and you just don’t understand. The thing I think most people get wrong is that you are not there to be their friend. You are there to help them grow up to be a responsible adult. You need to watch their behavior and say to yourself. Is this the type of young man that a girl worth spending his life with would consider a good catch. You need to mold him into that young man. He is going to get mad at you when he doesn’t get away with that others brats do. But do you want him to be like that kid throwing a tantrum in the middle of an isle? **Metaphorically** you need to beat him into a proper young man.

  8. As a 32 year old dad with a 3 year old girl and a boy on the way any day now.

    A few things:

    1. Once I had my daughter, I decided I needed to take getting in shape seriously. I’ve never been fat, but I’d had some post-marriage, 9-5 workday adult life softness packed on. I decided that was enough of that. I want to be healthy for my kids, sexy to my wife, and most importantly…for ME. I’m vein. I want to be the hot dad. So that means lifting weights and having some semblance of a strict diet. So naturally, that’s going to get me stronger.

    2. You carry those kids around all the fucking time, especially when they’re unable to walk. They’re strapped to you or they’re in one arm or the other. You’re constantly carrying a weight.

    3. Good Dad love is unreal. The things I would do to protect my kids without even flinching are things I never thought possible. That adrenaline I would feel and biological drive to protect my children gives you that “dad strength”!

  9. Swinging around a kettlebell that won’t stop getting heavier. Or stop asking for uppies. In the moment, if something’s wrong, adrenaline.

  11. Why are you all assuming physical strength? I would have thought the immediate go-to would be mental and emotional fortitude?

  12. There’s a great issue of Spider-Man where Doc Oct switches bodies with Spider-Man. At one point as Spider-Man, Doc knocks the jaw of Scorpion with one punch. In that moment, Octavius realizes just how strong Peter Parker is, and that Spider-Man has been holding back on this time.

    When you become a dad, you suddenly have no reason to hold back in defense of your kid. The strength has always been there, but there has been no need to fully use it. That’s where Dad Strength comes from. Same thing with Dad Reflexes.

  13. It’s not father strength. It’s prime strength. That age gets naturally stronger than ever before in their lives.

  15. It just happens day-by-day. You aren’t lifting super heavy weights or anything, but you’re carrying a wriggling little child constantly.

    So you just get stronger and end up using lots of stabilizer muscles you wouldn’t usually use otherwise to that extent. Your reflexes also get better because, especially once they’re mobile, you gotta be able to catch them or stop them from falling or jumping off of the wrong things.

    It just happens. Also, you realize that the amount of strength you need isn’t really that much. No one needs to bench 1.5x or squat 2x or deadlift 2.5x their bodyweight. Those things can be nice, but they aren’t necessary.

  16. The natural instinct to protect your family and the adrenaline that comes when needed. Before you have a family, you don’t give a shit about anyone to the degree you do your own kid.

    It’s never happened to me before specifically but my senses were heightened when I’d play with them or catch them from falling off something. I’ll take the bar of the jungle gym to the face if it means keeping the bandaids away.

  17. It was very natural. I wante kids, had them when i planned and simply copied what my parents did.

  18. You’ve got 18-20 years of living in service to others on your plate. You need to get strong for those that depend on you.

  19. It just showed up naturally. I have no idea what happened or when it happened but I definitely have “grown man strength” to the point where I can still outwrwrestle my marine son even though he’s bigger than me.

  21. They don’t just suddenly get it. Dad strength refers to muscle fibers built doing a lifetime of manual labor, like mechanics and construction workers.

    You don’t just impregnate a woman and suddenly get strong.

  24. Babies are heavy. It’s like walking around with a bowling ball. My wife and I refused to get strollers or carriages. You get strong carrying them around all the time.

  28. As you get older you get physically bigger. I had my last growth spurt at like 23. Carrying around kids. Working. Fixing things. I work out alot as well. Keep that up for years. Your muscles develop and mature along with you

  29. Holding a baby takes arm strength. They start off light so it’s easy. Build up from there. They stop wanting to be held somewhere between 2 and 3
    .

  30. I have two big boys, when they’re babies and even toddlers you’re picking them up and carrying them around constantly. The wake-up call was simply that I wanted to be able to do that with ease. Also, personally I’m on the ground all the time with them, playing, cleaning, changing them, etc. So that’s a wake up call for the legs and back if you’re lacking mobility and strength. I like to keep my workouts simple and oftentimes incorporate the kids. Squats til exhaustion while holding the babe. Push-ups til exhaustion while my older one sits on my back. Stuff like that keeps it fun.

  31. I dunno. I did it the old fashioned way and started lifting progressively heavier weights a couple years before my kid was born.

  34. Never hesr dof “father strength” in my life

    There’s “old man strength” , and “hero parent” strength where your kis is in danger.

    Bur there’s an ample amount of noodle arm dads out there

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