I ask because I know many people who spent or are spending time in the US and they all complain about dating over there. Both men and women. What I find bizarre is that the same people say it is quite easy to meet people and all talk about how lively their social life is in the states compared to back home.
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Dating in the US is difficult if you’re a man because you always have to make the first move, I’ve heard in other countries it’s easier for men because sometimes women do it.
Dates are fake European propaganda. If dates are real, why have I never been on one? Checkmate.
Most of my single friends and friends that have found someone in the last five years have all used dating apps. Much easier that way to branch out to different groups of people and encounter people you would otherwise never meet. Also means more of a shot in the dark and running through many dates before finding someone suitable or giving up.
Reddit is the worst possible place you could ask a question about dating in the US. Out in the real world dating is easy. Everyone on here is a sad sack.
Don’t know, was wondering the same thing.
There isn’t really one uniform “dating culture.” We have too many varied subcultures here for there to be standard dating practices.
As a gay guy, I’m somewhat restricted to app, which I’m not a fan of. There are some potential irl options, but those have their problems as well.
Tldr I’ve never been in a relationship.
Depends on if you’re in college, divorced, in highschool, in the workforce ect.
Mind if I ask where you’re from and what kinds of complaints your friends are making? It could be as simple as different cultural expectations with regards to dating. Things like who approaches who first, who pays, where to go for a date, how quickly to move on to various levels of intimacy. Those are all very cultural questions, and they can change from person to person as well (especially in the US which has a lot of smaller subcultures).
The biggest thing, as with any relationship, is to communicate with your partner as best you can. If you’re not raised to expect splitting the bill, you need to work that out with your date.
I mean, I say that but I’ve been married for several years now and we were functionally if not legally married well before that. So my knowledge of dating is a bit out of date. Never had to deal with Tinder and the like. I can say that when we were dating, we started off in casual public places (I think our first date was to go out for pizza and then we went to a park together for our second, where we just laid out in the grass and talked about ourselves). We split all the tabs evenly, and mostly just tried to find things to do together. Like in our college town, professors would go to a local brewery to talk about their research, so we went to that periodically. Or we’d watch movies together at one of our apartments.
It’s just spending time together while you get to know each other, ideally.
*In general* American culture is more friendly than others, IME. It’s not uncommon that if you say “hello” to another person, they will respond back to you pleasantly. However, like almost anything in the US, it varies from city to city/place to place/person to person.
Everyone’s got their own agenda. Some people are very much so into dating and finding their person, others are self driven and don’t want to date/be in a relationship, others want to date but for whatever reason find it difficult to find people they mesh with.
I live in one of the largest cities in the US (I mention this because just based on the numbers, the dating pool is larger than average here), when I was single in my early/mid twenties I did not find dating and/or meeting new people difficult at all. Dating apps, meeting people at bars/concerts/other social venues, etc. is not something I found very difficult, again though – I’m not generally afraid to strike up a conversation. I’m not ugly nor am I an Adonis either, FWIW. I just put myself out there and have a very social personality and contrary to what Reddit would have you believe, these traits are not rare among most people.
I’m not going to say that I always had great experiences with dating – it took a few heart breaks and wading through a lot of shitty dates over the course of a decade before I found my S/O.
This was only my experience, I cannot guarantee you that if you come to any one of the fifty states, or even the larger cities like mine, that you will have this same experience. But, in general, considering that [more than half](https://www.statista.com/statistics/242030/marital-status-of-the-us-population-by-sex/) of the adult population of the US has been married, it’s safe to say that dating is something that most people here do and find success in.
Depends where you live, how old you are and what you are into. I know that’s kind of a giving. Finding a date isn’t hard in a heavily populated city if you’re not a broke troll and have SOME social skills. Some people fall immediately in lover with their date and are heartbroken which is not the best way to approach it. Emotionally daunting and it becomes a chore. Alone and miserable versus dating and continually heartbroken. It happens.
Finding a real match after dating. That’s the challenge. There are so many options in some cases…The amount of ‘one and done ‘ dates is probably what can be the worst part of dating. I’ve seen it across the board…I have used dating apps in different countries and it’s not too much more different than in the US. The concept is basically the same thing everywhere on average. No?
It’s a fkn part time job in a way. It takes time, money, and energy while trying to not get any emotions in the way. I try to help my friends date but they do the same things everytime. Dating sucks for most people but it’s a necessary evil in many cases….
Nowadays its all apps. You swipe and swipe and swipe and then you chat with maybe two dozen, go out with maybe 5, hook up with 1.
That depends a lot on who you are and what you are trying to accomplish.
In a lot of ways it has never been easier. People wear their crazy on the outside and often post it on the internet for everyone to see.
What were your friends complaining about?
I think dating in NYC is rad. Dating foreign girls (I mean visiting foreigners) can be challenging tho, some generalizations and stereotypes I’ve noticed or heard from friends (30s NYC natives).
Russian girls want you to be an Alpha dickhead.
Brits really want us to be stereotypical cowboys.
Pacific Asians will never bring you home to the parents.
Parisians tend to be really easy to date.
Germans think we are grinning cackling Apes.
I haven’t been on a date in… oh since 2017 or so. Plenty of people have asked but I am focused on my career and don’t want to deal with the baggage that comes with a partner right now. But if the right person comes along, I’m open to it.
That’s said it’s fairly easy to meet people for me because I’m a very social person. Not everyone has that experience, and I’ll say I’ve met some real weirdos by way of just being friendly. Not all conversations or dates end up being pleasant.
Dating culture is just like American culture, very diverse and depends on who you ask.
Cross your fingers and hope you don’t get a hoe
From my perspective, dating is difficult in America because of the apps (option fatigue), increasing expectations of men from women and social isolation due to superficial needs being met by technology. As an independent female (financially stable, supportive friendships and happy) I find it difficult to connect because I am so comfortable with the routine I’ve created with no restrictions. Becoming picky to individuals hasn’t helped. A simple flaw turns me off and I feel no need to accept their: personality, physicality, lack of this or that because there is always another person to try out. There isn’t room for growth and the time to get to know each other has become minimal. This is just my experience.
Hook-up culture is the default dating culture in NYC at this point, facilitated and fueled by the apps. It’s getting less and less common to “meet in the wild” because of how much dating apps have displaced other ways of meeting people. Multi-dating is the norm and expected. Cannot assume exclusivity no matter how long you’ve been dating and/or fvcking unless you have “The Talk” to officially declare exclusivity.
Lol no one here goes on dates.
Hard. Unless you’re into the bar scene meeting people seems difficult.
I heard that americans ( women and men) when they are “dating” with someone it is still possible that they are seeing other people too.
It’s extremely easy to meet people. The hard part is finding someone genuine with no hidden agenda
Honestly dating culture seems more like hookup culture more than anything else these days. I’ve never been on a proper date and shallow flings and hookups are all I’ve ever really known
If you mean actually keeping a relationship then I guess it’s the same as anywhere else. Compromise, communication, care and concern idk. I could be wrong seeing as I’ve never had anything last more than a couple months though
Depends on who you ask. I personally never had much luck with dating apps and had an easier time going on dates organically, usually meeting someone because of a mutual friend. Just gotta put yourself out there and don’t obsess about dating apps—it’s all superficial there
for a lot of us, dating culture is swiping on apps and then you get a match and text each other for a little while until you set up a time to meet, often over drinks or coffee or dinner or just going for a walk together.
you will hear a lot of folks complain about the swiping apps because they encourage disposability, there is always a chance someone better is around the corner. this creates the expectation that the very first date should be all sparkles and people must “click” when they meet the very first time and if there is no “spark” then you will not get a second date and you have to go back on the apps.
but in real life, relationships are built over time and “feeling a spark” right away is very rare. thats why you hear a lot of advice about meeting people from your social circle instead of the apps: friends-of-friends, people you work or volunteer with, people you meet through hobbies, etc.
source: i go on a lot of first dates from the apps that don’t go anywhere, and i get more second dates when i know someone from the real world outside of the apps. just not enough second dates lead to actually improving my sex life or stopping being single, however.
I’m outside of it now, but I never struggled to find a date and give it a shot.
I found it was important to have a plan. Something to offer. Not some nebulous idea of “We should go out sometime.” If you find a person interesting and think you would enjoy going out with them, the biggest thing was just asking them to go do something specific.
“Hey, I’m going to a concert/to the beach/meeting some friends this weekend. Wanna come along?”
Something easy and casual and approachable with time to talk and interact and see how each other relates to different dynamics. How that goes will determine what you might want to do next.
Too many people take one or even multiple strike outs as the end in general. Nope, so it didn’t work out. Ok. We learned that we don’t work, good. Now we know. Leave it on good terms and move on.
I was always good at dates. Being fun company and not starting with too many expectations for either side. It even works now, still. I take my wife out to do fun stuff all the time.
The same attributes that makes somebody a fun date are the same ones that make them fun company/friends/etc. Be somebody you want to spend time with.
I haven’t dated in 15 years 😭
Trash. The apps are all full of girls looking for money on Onlyfans now
There’s a big push to “adopt don’t shop” getting them from women’s shelters vs buying them
Most of my friends have met there significant others through mutual friends or activities. There have been some that tried doing the online thing but haven’t seen much of them. Myself I have an ex I’m still friendly with who hooks me up with her friends. Generally don’t get anything serious from it but for a guy just trying to save money and have some casual sex it’d not bad.
For reference very awkward midly autistic and had pretty much no luck with women at all till i was 28 or so. I just happened to get lucky and find female friends who thought I was good in bed and recommended me to there friends.
For advice try working in car sales. All of the dealerships I have worked at every one is dating or screwing everyone else at said dealership.
Dating here is like a pool. And that pool has been peed in, a lot.
ghosting seems to be common. easier to block and ignore than break up. I see people complain about that a lot online.
It’s mostly migrated to apps as people become less comfortable trying to actually meet people organically in public. New York is probably one of the few places I’ve spent time in where meeting someone at a bar could actually end up in being a date later instead of hooking up (or nothing as is normally the case).
The cons are that it just doesn’t feel organic and all of my best relationships in the past have been from random chance “in the wild”. That being said the apps are super easy and convenient.
It’s what you make of it, like all things 🙂
I’m not the best person to answer, i have a knack for only ever meeting people who are either already in a relationship or are some sort of aromantic. I’m quite social depending on the setting, but I’m also just not into apps, I want to meet someone organically… However see above XD
This is the worst question for redditors😂
Dating is mostly done through dating sites like Tinder, Bumble or Plenty of Fish.
There’s a lot to dislike about these platforms:
* Most people have extremely generic photos and bios. 50% put zero effort into their profile.
* Men receive a small percentage of swipes, making the platforms extremely depressing. Often shocking comments get the most responses (negative or positive) reinforcing bad behavior (since being boring/normal does not get you attention)
* Most clever comments or well thought out answers get ignored. Reinforcing you should be putting less effort into your messages.
* Women receive a lot of swipes giving them too many choices which leads to casual ghosting
* Women have to Wade through a shit ton of lewd men, incels, casual sexism and harassment
* Some platforms are filled with bots or people advertising their OnlyFans
If you have a decent profile, have hobbies and have average looks, it’s not hard to find dates and opportunities to hook up.
However, the people who you want to hook up with are rarely the ones that make for good long term partners.
There’s still the bar scene, but most people at bars either aren’t single or are there with friends and not open to talking. You can find people to hook up with at bars with some effort, but those people generally aren’t good as long term partners.
However, if you do both of these things enough, eventually you’ll probably find a long term relationship, but for some people that can take years and for some it will never happen.
Most people on dating sites could take the extra effort to improve themselves.
It’s mostly migrated to apps as people become less comfortable trying to actually meet people organically in public. New York is probably one of the few places I’ve spent time in where meeting someone at a bar could actually end up in being a date later instead of hooking up (or nothing as is normally the case).
The cons are that it just doesn’t feel organic and all of my best relationships in the past have been from random chance “in the wild”. That being said the apps are super easy and convenient.
Sucks
If social media is any indication at all of what dating “culture” is like anywhere in the developed world, you couldn’t get me single again at gunpoint.
Frustrating, just like it is anywhere else. It might not be the same for older people, but for people my age (early 20s), most people either don’t know what they want or are only interested in hookups. You’d assume it’d be really easy to find a relationship in college because you’re living in essentially a “city” with 10s of thousands of people your age, but it’s really not. I’ve kinda given up on it for now and I’m hoping people will have similar goals to me when I’m a bit older. I’d rather wait than settle for someone now who doesn’t want the same thing. (And anyone who says dating is “easy” for women is lying lmao)