I’ve had this girl (23F) on my rotation for almost 2 years. Ever since the beging she told me that she does not want a relationship with me, sex is enough, we are not exclusive, she isn’t interested in other guys but I’m free to see other girls. Lately I’ve started to ditch the other girls I’ve been seeing and to harbor some feelings towards her.
Well, this past weekend we went to a 4 day music festival, we had sex a couple times and I left on the 3rd day. Later, my friends told me that they saw her kissing another guy on the 4th day. I confronted her but she denied it, even though I told her that I know I have no reason to be mad as we are not exclusive. She kept saying that she isn’t seeing any other guys besides me.
Today I met with her face to face and I could tell she was lying and feeling guilty. I’m certain that this is a regular occurence but this is just the first time she was caught. While we were together, we cuddled but I wasn’t even arroused by her anymore and barely found her atractive as it felt like she belonged to another man. I can’t help but feel betrayed even though I know I shouldn’t as there never was an exclusive relationship. HELP.
TLDR my nonexclusive friend kissed someone else and I’m feeling betrayed.
5 comments
Go to therapy. If you feel like women belong to men, you’ve got some serious issues. Casual, non exclusive relationships may not be something you can handle if you’re this emotional
You guys aren’t dating. It sounds like you should make it official or cut it off. You clearly don’t want her doing things with other people yet you want to have the option. It’s not fair to her if you have those expectations.
You can feel whatever the hell you want.
When you describe someone as non-exclusively ‘on your rotation’, then you don’t get fidelity from them, or sympathy from anyone else.
Confronting her only demeans you and puts the weakness of your position, and hypocrisy, on full display. You put your self-worth and ego into your ability to maintain access to her sexually. Turns out, you’re even less special than you told yourself she was. And this new connection she made, they might be special. Or maybe it’ll be the next one.
She played the game you were trying to play, better than you did. Tough cookies.
If you want to feel better, end it kindly and respectfully, and recognize this a risk you accept when you approach your sexual relationships as casual, non-exclusive rotations of women. They rotate out. Not always on your timeline or with your blessing, because they never actually belonged to anyone but themselves.
>I’ve had this girl (23F) on my rotation for almost 2 years.
>While we were together, we cuddled but I wasn’t even arroused by her anymore and barely found her atractive as it felt like she belonged to another man.
…
“my rotation.”
“belonged to another man.”
Cease all sex and/or romantic occurrences with women until you can respect them as people with autonomy instead of objects. *Then* ask for advice.