I (20M) am struggling with dating and would appreciate some general advice

I’ve re-written this about half a dozen times, so I’m just ready to word dump at this point, but I’ll try my best to make it as coherent as possible.

I know that confidence is key, not taking rejection hard is crucial, and having a positive self-image are some of the important notes one should hit on before going into the dating scene. I feel I’m hitting all of those things, but I want to *make sure*, as well as ask the ultimate question: am I ready to date?

For context, I’ve only had one relationship in high school. It was fine, genuine feelings were involved, but it didn’t last. We left on good terms. I feel the relationship was a positive experience that gave me a taste of what they are and how they feel. The ability to talk, laugh, cry, admit, or listen to the same person and have them hug you at the end of the day is *beautiful* to me, and I want that with someone.

I feel like I’ve always been obsessed with relationships like I always needed to be in one, like it would make me completely happy. That’s not to say I’m not happy, I have friends and family that love me dearly and I love them the same, a sporting group that keeps me active and excited, and a group of fellow students that take our studies seriously and are working hard to make a name for ourselves. It’s like everyone gets a piece of my heart pie, but one piece is left.

*I just want someone to take that piece of pie, goddamnit!*

With that said, forcing a relationship does more damage than good, I know. People are allowed to like who they want and who they don’t, and I’m more than willing to respect those feelings- I want something that goes both ways. Even with my previous relationship, she admitted I “wasn’t her type”, so it feels like I’ve just never been on the radar for anyone anyways.

I also feel like I’ve always had to *choose* between people which erks me so much. For instance- I was interested in a girl, and another girl was interested in me (first time *that* ever happened) but I wanted to see how things would turn out with who I was pursuing first. Didn’t work out, and I didn’t pursue the other girl out of respect- I didn’t want her to feel like a cop-out or a second choice, regardless of if she was into me or not. That’s just a dick move. In any case, the guy that told me she liked me started dating her anyways, so that’s great. We do not talk anymore XD

I’m feeling that again right now: I’ve been pursuing this girl since last year. She’s smart, outgoing, very well put together, we share some hobbies, and even do the sport together (I got her into it, and she seems to really enjoy it!) However, during training for campus housing, I saw this girl that *took my breath away*. She’s gorgeous, she seems incredibly funny, we have a *lot* in common, and we seem to have fun in person. I only talked once and texted a little, but I’ve started to wain on the texts due to fear of creeping her out and the fact her replies have gotten short, and I don’t wanna force a conversation. I’m also unsure if she’s dating a guy or not, but it’s hard to not scream “I’M INTERESTED IN YOU” by asking if you’re dating someone.

Though I feel like a monster for being interested in two women at once- it feels like I’m doing something wrong, like I’m gross.

I like to take things slow, get to know the person, and at least be decent friends before committing to anything. Maybe I’m unintentionally friend-zoning myself, but I feel it’s way easier to ask a friend to go out than a complete stranger.

I also feel like my self-esteem is in a unique place. I’m happy with my body; I’m just about 6’3″, I love my long hair, and I feel confident about my face and how I look, but I just don’t feel that confidence about other people looking at me. I’m also incredibly skinny (BMI \~15.0), medical procedures still impact my body today, and as much as I’d like to think I’m a charmer with a silver tongue, I don’t think I’m the pique of interest in the middle of a room.

**All of this is to say I’ve got a lot on my mind, and I just need a general idea of where to go next.**

* Is there a way I could get to talk in person with this new girl?
* Out of my interests, is there any one person I should pursue over the other?
* Should I pursue neither based on the fact that I’m attracted to them both?
* Should I look into online dating instead to match with someone?
* Should dating even be on my radar right now? I’m tired of being lonely, but if I must work on myself, then I could give it a try

All I’m looking for is a general nudge in any direction I should go in. I want to start dating, but *I’m just not sure where to go next*. Thanks for reading!