F29 – I can orgasm with my partner by oral, using an external toy etc but it can take a while, easily 15-20 minutes. With penetration, it feels good and I think I can feel when he hits my g-spot. I’d love to be able to orgasm vaginally but I worry that if I need such direct, sustained clitoral stimulation usually, I can’t see how I would ever achieve anything without that. I know all women are built different but if anyone has insight on this I’d love to hear!
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It’s tricky trying to get the internal parts of the clitoris stimulated in the right way.
Sometimes angle helps like putting a pillow under the hips. For.me sometimes it’s random, I can’t pinpoint anything we do differently than other times.
And sometimes using a butt plug helps because the vaginal canal is narrower and the penis is in closer, consistent contact with the internal parts of the clit. But , understandbly, that’s not everyone’s thing.
I ended up orgasming vaginally at 27, after only orgasming clitorally for 16 years before that. There was a whole range of factors including getting into r/pompoir, which increases sensitivity as well as having a host of other benefits, using THC edibles (NOT a high dose, be extremely conservative or you just get anxiety), and having a partner who is extremely compatible with me and willing to lean into my kinks. I also discovered my own a-spot, which is absolutely worth investigating- it’s a pleasure spot near the cervix which is massively overlooked cause everyone just associates their cervix with pain and bad things.
Try riding him slowly while you use a toy on your clit. This drives me and my man wild. It takes time & practice to figure yourself out!
I’ve had the most success while on our sides. Plus if you need to you can stimulate your clit easily. Unless you’re trying for piv only.
I only remembered giving and orgasm ONLY penetrating to this one girl. And it was in doggy position she could cum just like that. All the others I’ve been with had to be with clitoral stimulation
Most women can’t orgasm from just penetration
What worked for me after 7 years of trial and error is being on top while trying to rub my clit against his groin on the way back. Don’t move vertically up and down, but try to slide forwards and backwards. Try to contact with your clit his groin on the way back by doing a little micro-movement with your hips tilting them forward just when you are about to go forward again. Ask your partner to not to move too much with your and not to try to dictate the rythm, so that you can entirely focus on hitting the spot that feels right. It also helps if you and your partner are both shaved and use some lube around your clit.
However, I believe you asked to come without any direct or indirect clitoral stimulation? A question here for you. Did you ever feel like you could come from imagination alone but you actually didn’t. Just by having been so horny and turned on by your intimate day dreams, or tantalizing words and teasing touches all over your body? I suggest to try edging, where you fantasize the whole day and masturbate but everytime stop very close before coming. Do this a few times throughout the day as a preparation for later when you will make love with your partner. You will feel sexually supercharged and this might just give you that little extra to come vaginally. Try to also go for an angle that will hit your a-spot by placing a pillow under you. Don’t build up too many expectations as they can be hampering the build up of your organs. Say to yourself, whatever happens is just right and what matters is that I will enjoy every bit of making love.
It’s something like 80 of women need some kind of clitoral stimulation to get off. So it’s fairly normal. This is coming from a woman on tiktok so take this for what it’s worth. the clit is only the tip of the organ. The whole thing is fairly large and sometimes the vaginal wall may be thicker giving less stimulation to the rest of the clitoral organ.
Hell tell him to get cock ring with the rabbit ears. And do some grinding
My wife prefers to climax vaginally. She’s more A-spot than G-spot, and needs deep penetration/stimulation.
It’s a first for me, every other woman I’ve been with before preferred/needed more clitoral stimulation, although it seems 20% of women can orgasm vaginally unassisted (meaning without stimulation elsewhere). Not the most common but also not super rare.
She says she’s always been like this, so maybe it’s a physiological thing, depending on how and where the clitoris is wraps around the vagina.
Vaginal orgasm is a kind of inaccurate term. Sure the vagina may be where the main activity is, but in most cases (in my experience) there is also plenty of stimulation to other erogenous zones: the clit, the labia, the lips, the breasts and nipples, the neck, the ears, the inner thighs, the buttocks, the asscrack and even the anus and the armpit.
So, can we ever say that a vaginal orgasm is purely vaginal?
Maybe the way some women have vaginal orgasms is if her partner simultaneously focuses on some of these other erogenous zones while pumping into the vagina. Pound her pussy while putting a finger on her clit and nibbling her neck. Flirt with her anus and deep suck a nipple as you increase the tempo in her cunt. Are these vaginal orgasms?
That depends. Is he curved? How much girth does he have? Do you know where your g spot is and how deep is your cervix?
Take a look at CAT position. It might work for you.
https://www.healthline.com/health/10-things-to-know-about-the-coital-alignment-technique
I (34F) find a butt plug helps things feel a big snug when my BF enters me and helps me to orgasm quicker. However, I mainly orgasm when he stimulates my clit and so we use toys a lot.
He also cums a lot quicker when I use a butt plug and we often pause penis penetration to use a dildo or vibrator instead as I can orgasm several times but he can’t 😅
We did missionary last night and I came 4 times (also note I’ve just finished my period and I’m always super horny for the first week so I cum very easily).
After oral sex have him put his penis in you right after and let him go crazy. That’s the only way I was able to cum vaginally
my partner is the opposite. she can orgasm from piv in 2 min and i can last 15-20min. she doesnt like when ive tried to touch her clit (during foreplay or while piv) but enjoys being touched directly over the V opening and having finger(s)1-2 inserted. same with oral sex. okay to tongue around labia and prefers up and down over and in V but not clit area. it feels great to give her 4-5+ orgasms every time we have sex but when she wants to give me oral i cant cum even though it feels great and i want to.
lots of good tips here. have you tried doing kegel exercises. hold 3 sec for 2-3 sets of 20 every day using finger/kegel ball/dildo for 2 weeks? other idea is cross your ankles. he can hold them against his shoulder while youre on your back or try it while face down over pillow or on your side.
For me it’s easy
Do kagel exercises to strengthen your pelvic floor and flex it during sex
Feels good for everyone and should help you get there. You have a lifetime to practice. You’ll get there!!
The majority of women can’t get there with only intercourse, but if you figure a way to get extra clit stim during intercourse (rub yourself, have him rub you, grind on his pubic bone, use a vibrator…) you can get there.
I never felt the slightest build-up from just penetration, but add some external stimulation, and that combination works easily and consistently. Good luck, and don’t drive yourself crazy over trying to have the elusive “vaginal orgasm”. They are all clitoral, after all.