So my ex-bsf ( let’s call her Andrea ) was my bestfriend for 10 yrs. We’re at a party, I brought my fiancé of a year with us. We’re about 5-8 drinks in and everyone’s feeling it. I went off to go talk to another friend while Andrea and my Fiancé sit at a table on the outside deck. I go back about 15 mins later & my fiancé tells me he needs to talk to me discreetly after she gets up and walks away. He tells me she asked him “Why her? Why does everyone always go for her? Why does no one go for me?” And then proceeds to say “ would you ever date me?”. Now, in the moment I don’t know if I fully believed him.
About a year later, I have been broken up with my fiancé for about 3 months. I started hooking up with another guy I had known. We will call him Colby. One night I threw a party & it got kind of crazy. I was not feeling well &was in the bathroom. While I was in the bathroom Andrea was all over Colby (someone had told me later that night) & as I was on Snapchat posting stuff she takes a pic with Colby & is basically on top of him & sticking her tongue out. She sends it to me while I am on my phone. I didn’t really think much of it.
2 weeks later a mutual friend says Andrea is sleeping with Colby and that she slept with another ex of mine after we had broken up. I message her & asked her “are you sleeping with Colby? & did you sleep with (other ex)?” She plays it off like she has no idea what they’re talking about and says she would never do that to me. I asked “are you sure? If you like him just be honest so I can stop wasting my time on Colby” And then starts gaslighting me & asking why would I believe mutual friend. I didn’t push it after that bc I didn’t want to start a fight with her.
One night I looked at snap map and it showed Colby and Andrea in the same location& I knew in it in my gut. I expected it from a guy but not from my bsf. I asked again, she blew up & finally admitted it after gaslighting me for 3 wks . Then tried to make me out to be the bad guy and saying “you always make everything about you & you guys weren’t even in a real relationship” and a bunch of other crappy things.
I get into a relationship with Tyler, a few weeks later I stupidly forgive her. 7 months later me and Tyler take a break. We all attended a party together& I see her flirting with him and flashbacks of Colby came back and long story short we fought again and didn’t talk for a very long time.
A year later I have moved out of state, & she’s in a relationship with Tyler & is pregnant with his child. I now know all of my feelings were right. I mean her last 3 “relationships” were all of my exes.
Another year later she says she misses me and is sad I moved out of state and doesn’t apologize for anything. I told her I don’t hold grudges but I don’t think I can fully ever be friends with her again.
UPDATE: I have blocked and removed her on everything. Should’ve been done sooner but what’s done is done. And I’ve learned my lesson.
39 comments
She is so incredibly jealous of you. Don’t be friends with her. Christmas cards and birthdays.
You should hold grudges. Grudges keep the trash outside
Mannn, she’s tired of Tyler and wondering if you found something new for her. 😭😭😭😭😭. You’re smart to walk away, man. Fuck that.
She hasn’t apologized for anything, so it does not read like she wants forgiveness from you.
Tell her to carry on being sad as you want jack shit to do with her. Who needs friends like that huh 🤦♀️
Tell her to get stuffed.
She’s not your friend. She’s probably wondering if you have a new man to take
just block her and ignore her from now on
Girl, just give her the number of your most recent ex so she can get her sloppy seconds’ fix in exchange for forgetting you exist for another year or two.
>a few weeks later I stupidly forgive her.
Stop doing this.
>I told her I don’t hold grudges but I don’t think I can fully ever be friends with her again.
Hold a grudge. Seriously, this person is not your friend and has no interest in being a positive force in your life. Please have more self-respect.
She got bored with Tyler and now she wants to talk to you to see how she can have fun ruining your life lol. Block her you moved out of state.
She was never your friend. She just wanted to be you.
She’s trash, acting that way at 25 is unacceptable. Not only that, but it’s a repeat pattern.
Leave her on the curb like you did.
Never be friends with Andrea again. This girl is jealous of you and will try to get with any guy you do to validate herself as being as good as you are. You cannot trust her.
Why would you ever be friends with someone who has exhibited her behavior?
She cannot be trusted, is unreliable and a liar. Ditch her and never look back, when people ask, tell them the truth. Be sure to do so in a unemotional manner.
You did the right thing. She knows what she did wrong. Adult decisions, adult consequences.
lol, you don’t need advice here. You’re either moving forward or moving backward. Why are you still letting her reach out? What value does she bring to your life?
What do you need advice on here? Sounds like you already told her you don’t want to be her friend anymore so just stick with your gut.
Block her and never give her a second thought.
Your ex friend was so jealous and insecure she wanted all your boyfriends and got them after you were done. So table scraps. I would never be friends with someone who saw me as competition.
OP, she is a sociopath. She is literally a vulture, picking at the carrion of your failed relationships. That is sick. She doesn’t give a damn about you, she only cares about feeding herself.
Ditch the psycho.
The trash took itself out! Block her
Fuck her dad to show dominance
This woman was never your friend, if she was she would have made an effort to be less clumsy around your ex’s instead of tripping and repeatedly falling on all their dicks.
I guarantee if you let her back in, you’ll be on constant pins in fear of her trying to bang your new man.
She’s got nothing positive to offer you. Just block her & carry on living happily without her!
I mean if you wanna get nasty before you block you can always mention something about how the only men she seems to be able to get are ones you’ve gone through first.
Seriously though, that isn’t a friend. Block her and let her be bored in her little life.
How did she become your best friend? It seems that you know each other because you meet often, which may or may not be a coincidence, but otherwise?
She wants a certain reaction. Maybe she wants you to envy her as she envies you, or just to hurt you.
She doesn’t care about your friendship, only about appearances. Life is too short to waste your time on the wrong people.
When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
She has shown you who she is. Believe her. Do not rekindle a friendship with her. She is happy to betray your friendship over and over and over again for her own selfish desires.
What’s the matter, she need another “new” man preseasoned by you again? Don’t waste your time. Block and don’t look back.
Sounds like trash. Keep them out of your life.
That is a bridge you should attach a truckload of C4 explosives to, blow to smithereens and never attempt to rebuild ever again.
“We will call him Colby” that’s because his name IS Colby, nobody chooses Colby as a placeholder name lol
Why are you talking to her at all? She has shown you over and over who she is. Believe people when they do this. She is not your friend. Friends don’t do things like this. Does she have to take another boyfriend from you to finally realize what a horrible person she is? Or will it take 10 more times of her doing it before you realize. If you like being walked all over, then proceed with your friendship but what misery comes from it, is on you at this point.
Oh wow she is a snake.. she was never your friend, she was just jealous..
I honestly would of said to her are you in love with me or something seeing as you like sucking the taste of me off my exs..
Just ignore her, she not your friend at all and you don’t need her
OP Why she is not blocked everywhere? Why you allow her to have an impact in your life if she has clearly show that she is not a person who you can trust?
Block and unfollow her everywhere and go full NC with her. If she contacts you again tell her you still has no new exbf for her and you will call her when a fresh exbf is avaliable.
If you ever find yourself in the same house / building with her in the future you should leave a half eaten sandwich 🥪 out to see if she goes for it after you leave the room. 😉
You are weirdly passive about all of this completely indefensible behavior.
>I went off to go talk to another friend while Andrea and my Fiancé sit at a table on the outside deck. I go back about 15 mins later & my fiancé tells me he needs to talk to me discreetly after she gets up and walks away. He tells me she asked him “Why her? Why does everyone always go for her? Why does no one go for me?” **And then proceeds to say “ would you ever date me?”.** Now, in the moment I don’t know if I fully believed him.
She asked **your fiance** if he would date her when you left the room. He came to you and told you this because he (correctly!) found it incredibly inappropriate, and you just blew it off. Most people would have investigated this further.
>While I was in the bathroom Andrea was all over Colby (someone had told me later that night) & as I was on Snapchat posting stuff she takes a pic with Colby & is basically on top of him & sticking her tongue out. She sends it to me while I am on my phone. **I didn’t really think much of it.**
Why the hell did you not think much of your “friend” dryhumping your date and sending you pictures of it to taunt you??
>2 weeks later a mutual friend says Andrea is sleeping with Colby and that she slept with another ex of mine after we had broken up. I message her & asked her “are you sleeping with Colby? & did you sleep with (other ex)?” She plays it off like she has no idea what they’re talking about and says she would never do that to me. I asked “are you sure? If you like him just be honest so I can stop wasting my time on Colby” And then starts gaslighting me & asking why would I believe mutual friend. I didn’t push it after that bc I didn’t want to start a fight with her.
She already sent you photographic proof of her being inappropriate with Colby and you just accepted her gaslighting that she wasn’t and let it go because you “didn’t want to start a fight” with someone who was clearly sleeping with your boyfriend?
>I get into a relationship with Tyler, **a few weeks later I stupidly forgive her.**
Why the fuck would you do that????
>A year later I have moved out of state, & she’s in a relationship with Tyler & is pregnant with his child. I now know all of my feelings were right. I mean her last 3 “relationships” were all of my exes.
>Another year later she says she misses me and is sad I moved out of state and doesn’t apologize for anything. **I told her I don’t hold grudges** but I don’t think I can fully ever be friends with her again.
Why the fuck would you not hold grudges about this? Why would you even entertain the conversation about forgiving her when she doesn’t even apologize?? What are you even asking us???
This goes way beyond not holding grudges.
She fooled you three times by now, shame on you for considering to keep her in your life still and giving her a chance to treat you like this again.You don’t need her it’s time to leave her on read.
> she misses me
Yeah, she’s missing you with that bullshit! Cut her loose.
I’d tell her to go fuck herself as I will not be providing anymore of my boyfriends for her to fuck. I’d also scorch her earth as bad as I could. With friends like that…
>she says she misses me and is sad I moved out of state and doesn’t apologize for anything.
The evil petty me would say “Why, are you looking for a new boyfriend? Sorry I don’t have any sloppy seconds to share with you.”
She is a terrible person who prioritizes dick so you can feel free to tell her that you are only looking to have people that you can trust and respect in your life and unfortunately due to her prioritizing of dick that can’t be her.