I’m a mother of 2 (9 and 20m) stay at home mom. My husband has a very high paying job but he works very late almost every day so I manage the house and kids with no family nearby for help or support. My husband has also been recently diagnosed with ADHD and is on medication.
I am in the creative field and haven’t made much progress in my career thanks to setbacks due to relocation and sub par mental health. My youngest only just started daycare.
Today I cooked an elaborate meal for the family to kickstart the long weekend on a good note (we usually struggle on weekends with fights flaring up every so often and it sends me into a downward spiral mentally) The sink was obviously full coz of all the cooking and just before sitting down to eat he made an angry comment about the sink being full all the time.
I was heartbroken that his focus was on that and proceeded to do the dishes and cleaned the kitchen while he and the kids ate. I ended up eating alone after. He didn’t get up to help clear the table (he never does) I was sad and worked up so ended up telling my son that no one helps me and I’m just unpaid labour around the house. To this my husband lashed out at me and said I should be ashamed that I don’t have a job like most of my friends and that I am like a sack of potatoes and do nothing worthwhile with my life.
I am so heartbroken and my sense of self worth is so low right now. I am lost and I don’t know how to make my situation better. I feel I have gone into this abyss and have no way out.
6 comments
Sounds like your man is an grateful selfish prick. Raising children like that is a full time job with ridiculous overtime and no pay. Any grown ass person needs to know what’s it’s like to live totally independent and then come together with someone and equally share the responsibilities of adulting and raising children. Don’t let that behavior wreck you…it can get worse. Instead find happiness for yourself…you can’t change anyone, but your outlook and perspective on things. Sadly your children will see his absence in every area and how he talks to you. Be the parent that guides them not to repeat that behavior when they get older. When you learn to enjoy life by yourself again…he will question or step up to be the one that puts a smile on your face. 🫶🏽
Charming
No you are not to blame for your husband being a jerk. You do have a job. Maybe you should ask him when he’s hiring a maid so you can go back to work
But he’s right, you should do something worthwhile… like get your kids away from this toxic environment. Because they see and are learning how to treat people
There’s much more to this story, both gave mental health issues, you never described yours so we can’t have both sides of the story.
Ok no matter what is going on in your marriage the adults need to figure that shit out. Your son is 2 now but soon he’ll understand what your saying and that was inappropriate trauma to dumb on your son.
He’s an ungrateful gaslighter. Only one to blame for that is him.
Jesus what an asshole. You’re his wife and partner with a family. Who the fuck does he think is going to raise those kids and take care of the household. Sorry you’re a going throw this but realize his comments are not accurate one iota