I (20F) am a late bloomer and was completely asexual until a few months ago, so all this is very new for me. I tried to masturbate a couple times, mostly out of scientific curiosity and to prevent turning up completely clueless whenever I’ll have real sex, and it is not going great.
I very rarely get horny without somebody else touching me, like once a month, so first, it’s pretty hard to get myself horny, and then it’s even harder to keep the focus – erotica is what works the best to put me in the mood, but I obviously can’t read while I’m doing the thing and porn does nothing for me. So I’m stuck only using my imagination and well, my own physical touch, but when I am the one doing the touching…. it’s boring. I lose focus and end up being bored out of my mind after 5 minutes. I’ve tried to research the question, but apparently boredom is not the most prominent problem when it comes to masturbatiom, so I found nothing. All input is welcome š
16 comments
Reading while masturbating simultaneously is tricky. You might have luck listening to audiobooks in the vein of the erotica you enjoy reading.
Have you tried porn? There is porn out there that’s isn’t horrible. If it’s only other people that get you horny then maybe try some spicy chatting online.
If you aren’t feeling it, you aren’t feeling it. Don’t force things that don’t feel good for you. I mean explore, but have fun, and take your time. Sex is about fun, feeling good and intimacy.
Had a similar problem
Took me forever to realise that itās all in my head. It was like even before i start i think itās gonna be boring, so i would suggest going with āfake it till you make itā and thinking itās gonna be real good and sexy etc.
If you feel that porn is a jump, maybe try mild erotic reading or audio.
Also I asked my girl in bed with me and she says to suck your fingers and play with your nipples and feel your body with your hands from your thighs up to your neck without touching your privates. Maybe skim over your privates a few times after that.
Make your privates desire touch, warm up your brain slowly. Then indulge them gently.
Get a vibrator. Keep looking for porn that you would like.
try audio erotica! r/GoneWildAudio is a great place to start. thereās *allllllllll* kinds of audio porn on there, iām sure youāll be able to find something you like. there are plenty of narrative stories where someone is just reading erotica to you, but thereās also content thatās made to feel interactive and immersive as though youāre part of the scene.
Use the other hand.
I’m asexual too and try a toy. It’s got lots of different settings. You can mix things up. In the shower, before bed, have a little wine.
āObviously canāt read while (ā¦)ā is something I have to disagree with. I love erotica myself. When I want to get in the mood, I start reading some and when I donāt feel like watching porn (which works faster if you find the perfect porn). When I feel horny enough, I will start slowly touching myself and when I get close, I will probably put aside the erotica and keep thinking about what I read, fantasizing more about it. If for some reason I canāt keep feeling horny, I tend to porn at this point.
Try marijuana; it’s much easier for me and my wife to get horny while high. Sometimes a little stimulant, like extra caffeine adds to the feeling.
As far as porn, try to stick to real amateur porn, like most of [RulePorn.com](https://RulePorn.com) or [https://www.homemoviestube.com/](https://www.homemoviestube.com/). You’ll still have to weed out some professional videos and terrible acting.
Is it possible you have ADD? Apparently a lot of asexual people might actually have attention deficit disorder.
Stop masturbating.
Guess you should find someone to masturbate with.
Ill keep u company?š¹
Get someone to fool around with
I typically think of the last time I had sex, especially if it’s someone I’m stuck on. Basically made love to this guy a million times in my head while all he gave me was 1-night… oh well.. wish I could feel again..