So I’m hanging out with someone this weekend who I am unsure about. I have hung out with them in a group setting before, and get on very very well with this person in terms of having crazily similar niche interests – but I have felt like this person can be quite judgmental, inflexible and irritable when they don’t get their own way (not to me personally but that this is just how they are with everyone). In the past I have either had a blast hanging out with them, or I have felt quite on edge because of their pompous behaviour – not much in between.
For me, the point of the hangout is to have fun but also to get a feel for if I want to build a friendship with this person. Other people have said they think this person is really nice, but hinted that they might be neurodivergent, which is why I am cutting them more slack. However I have quite bad social anxiety, so all these bad scenarios of the night going wrong are playing out in my head days in advance.
I know that if the person acts like this on Saturday, I don’t want a friendship with them anyway. Besides, it’s not even a super rational fear since this person has been a lot more considerate lately and seems to be working on themselves.
I think I am nervous about reacting in an undignified way if they start making me feel bad about myself in public. But how do I handle the situation if it happens, without falling to pieces?
I think being humiliated in public is a fear of mine in general, but because this person is particularly blunt with their words, I feel like my fear has more of a basis than with anyone else. On the other hand, we click so well that I really want to give it a chance. Help?