Hopefully the title makes sense. I (20M) want to start making friends at my community college. I know where I need to be to socialize (in-person classes, clubs, and social mixers) and I know that being at these events would be better than what I’m going through now, which is being lonely all of the time. But I’m struggling with the thought that, to the people I’m acquainting myself with, I’ll come off as being needy or desperate. I’ll explain.
I’ve almost never been invited to things, whenever I want to hangout with someone it’s always me having to ask them. This always gave me the feeling that I wasn’t worth hanging out with unless I was paying. And if they particularly didn’t want to see me they would keep rain checking until I would stop asking instead of just saying “I don’t want to hangout with you.” So this gave me a fear of coming off as too desperate so that I can actually have friends that invite me to stuff and I guess I learned to associate me only inviting people out with being needy. What can I do to deal with this. I’ve asked a question like this on another subreddit, and it was mentioned that the silver lining to being only the initiator is that I have control over that part of my social circle. But it still doesn’t help with not being invited to stuff. What can I do?
1 comment
Welcome to the club :,)