I’m going to try and make this story short. My husband and I have a 16 month old. My baby was holding one of my earrings and playing and walking around with it. The back of the earring is kind of sharp. I knew my baby had the earring but I let him play with it thinking he’d get bored and leave it. All of a sudden while I was in the bathroom I hear my husband asking me how I could leave something like this with our baby, that he could’ve got hurt. So when I come out of the bathroom I take the earring and put it on the kitchen island. He continues to ask me how can I leave something like this with the baby and that he could’ve gotten hurt. So I told him okay enough I took it away. He continues to ask the same questions repeatedly and I stayed quiet. And he tells me, answer me I’m talking to you, how could you do something like that? Then he says If I see it again I’ll throw it in the garbage. So I asked him, throw what in the garbage? That’s my earring!
He got angry and started calling me names, so I started to raise my voice and told him to learn some respect. Over and over and over again until he got physical. He started back handed hitting my shoulder very roughly and I was pushing his hand and telling him not to touch me. He kept doing it even harder so I said, if you touch me one more time I’m going to cut your hand off. So he got more angry and kept asking me how can talk to him like that. Again, asking the same question over and over again. I told him that I stayed quiet in the beginning but you kept pushing me. I’m not going to hear you disrespect me and call me names and just sit there and take it. He got up in my face and I kept saying you better not touch me over and over while we were arguing. He then slapped me SO hard that I heard a loud ringing in my ear that lasted almost about a minute. I screamed at him, went off on him, packed of stuff for my baby and I and told him I’m leaving him.
Who’s in the wrong? Will there be any damage to my ear? What should I do?
41 comments
He had *a* (singular) point when he said it was dangerous for the baby to play with an earring, not only because it’s sharp, but also a choking hazard, what if he stuck it in an outlet or something.
The rest is plain domestic abuse. Go to the police, go to a doctor and record any injuries. If he’s doing this to you now, what keeps him from getting more violent, or even hitting your child? That marriage is over, of the two of you, I hope you get custody, but please be more careful about what your child is playing with, especially unsupervised.
You need to take your baby and yourself to a womans shelter right now he will kill you.
Dumb judgement call, but still no reason to slap the shit out of you.
Get OUT ! Get you and your baby to safety
I’ve read a lot of stories about how domestic violence often happens after a woman has a baby. I think it will only get worse. You need to find a safe place where he cannot get to you or the baby. And also contact the police about this. Your life is in danger. And so is your child’s. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Please see a doctor as well 🥺
If physical violence is not a boundary in your marriage, I fear for your life. That is an immediate end and I would press charges.
Foolish of you to let the child play with an earring but he shouldn’t have slapped you.
RUN! if you havent run yet, let me say it again.. RUN!
The marriage is over, he is abusive. I would file a police report for the divorce, and frankly I am not a doctor, so I don’t know about your ear. The minute someone lays a hand on you it is over. This is why you don’t get groomed by older men…So please don’t go back, next time you may not be able to write to Reddit.
Also the earring was a danger to your baby for so many reasons a mother has to look 10 feet ahead. He had no right to hit you.
Call the police and press charges. File for divorce and sole custody. Get you and your child out of the house ASAP. What a psycho.
Emergency room to get evaluated, they call the police, they take pictures and you file a report, they arrest him. That’s what you do.
Should be calling 911 instead of reddit 🤷♂️
you would be a fool to not leave.
There’s lots of support out there babe. Please get out, for you and baby 🌈
Who is in the wrong?? Honey!!! You better get yourself and your baby to safety quick, cause this is just the beginning.
Go to the hospital. Take your baby with you. Start from there. A blow to the head must be checked out.
Your husband absolutely should never put hands on you, ever. That’s abusive. By hitting you (I assume in front of the baby), he is also abusive to the baby.
That being said, earrings are huge choking hazards and choking can happen in an instant. Please never let baby play with one again, you don’t need the guilt that will come up if the worst should happen.
Get you and baby to somewhere safe, then reevaluate whether this marriage is worth it. You both acted poorly in the argument, but physical assault should be a hard line in the sand for you.
You also need to get your ear checked out. It’s likely fine, but best to be safe.
You leave because things got physical and it will only get more dangerous.
And you also stop giving your child dangerous objects then leaving them alone. Don’t let a 16mo child play with earrings. That should actually just go without saying. It’s small *and* pointy. Really good way to get your son a perforated intestine or something.
I’m so, so, so sorry that happened to you. This sort of thing will not be a one off. It will escalate. You definitely took the right decision. It will not be easy but you handled it so well already,
I’m honestly impressed. I hope I’d be able to be as strong as you’ve been if it happened to me.
Stay away from him, for you and your baby’s sake. He’s definitely in the wrong, no matter what you may or may not have done. Nothing justifies it.
Call the police. File a report. Take baby and get to a shelter.
It could be your child next time. Eventually it will be.
His point of it being incredibly dangerous is true . The baby could of choked or hurt themselves however that’s where him being right ends .
He absolutely assaulted you. The answer to your title is leave and divorce him
You go to a hospital and get a record of your bruises and file a police report. Hopefully there are some friends or family you can stay with or a DV hotline can connect you with resources. You and your child are not safe where you are now.
He married someone much younger than him that he can treat and talk to like a child. There is concern with the baby playing with a sharp, choking hazard but he was looking for an excuse to belittle and hit you. You needed an exit plan asap. You are just now seeing the red flags that you missed for years. Go see a doctor and get checked out.
You should file a police report before he does first. and Yes, leave him.
Your husband was completely in the wrong for hitting you, there’s no excuse, but he’s right about the earring. Don’t let your baby play with an earring for fucks sake.
This relationship sounds very toxic.
Go to the ER and have them check out your ear. You want a record of any injuries your husband caused. If you have bruises anywhere, have them document those as well. After that, they will help you file a police report against your husband for assault.
Aside from that, your baby shouldn’t have been allowed to hang onto your earring. Babies, as I’m sure you know, put everything in their mouth. It’s a choking hazard and if by some chance the baby managed to swallow it, then the baby could need medical intervention (including surgery) to retrieve it. That said, it does not give your husband the right to abuse you so, yes, you should leave him.
Domestic violence, in whatever conditions, should not be tolerated.
Don’t find excuses for him and think about yourself.
Honestly. This whole thing sounds terrible.
He’s an abusive prick, and you’re a dangerous mother.
Go to the ER. Tell them what happened. They will call the police. File a report.
File a police report. That is assault and shouldn’t be tolerated. Go for a medical checkup to see if anything is wrong.
Go to a doctor and get checked out, and call a domestic violence hotline. Prepare to divorce.
Leaving your baby with a sharp earring was perhaps not the best idea but nothing justifies a slap.
You did right leaving him because next time he could hit you even worse. Violent men always find an excuse to get angry.
You might want to check your ear out with a doctor to be sure. If the doctor can see the damage, make sure you have a record of it and file a report with the police.
I have a permanent, life-long injury to my inner ear because of a beating from my ex. Slapping, not punching. Yes, there can be damage. If the stereocilia are damaged, you can end up with post-traumatic positional vertigo, and vertigo is no joke. Imagine feeling like you’re super drunk and can’t keep your balance when you walk, falling over all the time. Or being so dizzy all the time that just turning your head makes you throw up. Your husband assaulted you. It’s only going to get worse, this stuff never only happens once. You are not safe with this man. Please see this for what it was – an assault. You need to get out.
This is fake as shit. And quite frankly, if you did leave a 16 month old with a sharp earring, you don’t deserve to be a parent.
Go to the police, file a report. Go to a lawyer and file for divorce. Get out now, before the abuse gets worse.
The age difference gave me all I needed to know
He will do this to your child at some point
I feel bad for the kid. Dad’s abusive and mom is checked out / unconcerned, giving her baby unsafe items (sharp, choking hazard)
An earring is not a toy, but that doesn’t excuse abuse. Call your [local DV org](https://nomoredirectory.org/), get out of there (take your son with you), and then get checked out by a doctor.
[Safety plan](https://www.thehotline.org/plan-for-safety/create-your-personal-safety-plan/) for [escape](https://www.verywellmind.com/making-a-safety-plan-to-escape-abusive-relationship-5069959)
[Document abuse](https://www.thehotline.org/resources/building-your-case-how-to-document-abuse/) (hopefully help with custody)
r/domesticviolence r/abusiverelationships
I hope you choose to leave. A baby cannot and should not be in this environment. Ever.
Divorce. Pronto