Hi all! I’ve been going back on forth on different boards to see where to post this so if there is another one you think is better, please feel free to suggest! I’ll try to keep it short…
I have a 3 and 5 year old. Few years ago, my husband had a bad drinking/lying problem and my trust in him was broken. This has been on and off the past few years, until earlier this year I threatened divorce and he stopped. For the past few months, he’s been great! He helps a lot around the house and is a great husband/father. But, I’ve become worst and I don’t know if it is stemming from this or a separate physical/mental health issue.
I have no history of mental health issues, but since I’ve had kids, I do have more anxiety and maybe slight depression? I’ve become more moody/angry the past few months especially when I start my period. My husband and I fight and he’s calm, but I can’t control it I start yelling and it’s not good in front of the kids. Other symptoms – extreme fatigue, but my kids still do not sleep through the night so there’s lack of sleep. I am losing a lot of hair in the shower and around the house. I have noticed my menstrual cycles are weird now… I will bleed very heavily for 2 days and pass large blood clots (almost golf ball size). I’ve always had moderate acne, but it worsens around my period. Lastly, my libido is GONE. Before kids, we would do it up to 3+ times a day. We haven’t been intimate in several MONTHS. I don’t even kiss him, I feel weird when he touches/kisses me, his sex drive is normal and mine isn’t at all. If I never had sex again, I’d be okay with it… I realize this is not normal.
Basically – have I stopped loving my husband and is our marriage doomed? Sometimes I feel like I have no emotions towards him, but is that truly how I feel or can all of this be from hormonal changes that can be fixed? Has anyone experienced anything similar? Did you ever go back to being intimate with your spouse after a long dry spell? I don’t see how a pill will make me fall in love with him again and be intimate but I’m open to anything. Should I see a marriage counselour, OBGYN, endocrinologist, anger management, therapist?! I wish this was just regular mom stress but its much more than that and I want to get better, help please!
5 comments
Hmmm this is interesting. I would say about five years ago that sounded just like me I had a toddler and a baby… I was so tired and fatigue, and felt so unhealthy. I was losing hair and I was losing my mind. I wanted to leave my husband so I can go find love and change my life for the better…. what a mistake that would have been.. my heart is back where it should be, and I love him more than ever my libido is extremely high and higher than his!!! I got all my energy back. Your kids are still young give it a few more years. Everything can change I promise this is not the end. It’s simply one of those hard moments in life where we want to give up. But if we choose to keep going and stick through this you will be rewarded. Marriage is sacred and it is truly amazing but it also comes with the most horrible hard times that we couldn’t even imagine.
Take time for yourself and time for your husband maybe come up with some fun sexy stuff … don’t let your kids rely on you as much.. start eating much healthier smoothies every day try eating organic, going to the gym all the time and slowly obviously but it can get better I promise. I made it out. You can too!
You sound too young to have estrogen issues, but may not hurt to check your labs at your annual physical. I recall having young kiddos and lots of time, by the end of the day, you’ve got nothing left to give. Maybe if you can find small ways for him to support you outside the bedroom, it might change how you view him in the bedroom. I always used to joke that foreplay begins by emptying my dishwasher. 🙂
I’d go to the ob/gyn first. Just call and make the appointment and go from there. Try to get some rest while you are waiting for your doctor visit.
I agree with SorrellD. Start there. It might be your thyroid but I think your ObGyn would be aware of that possibility.
Could be thyroid related. You should see the doctor to see if you possibly have hypothyroidism. That can cause hair loss, depression, anxiety, fatigue, loss of libido, irregular menstrual cycles etc. also get your iron checked and your vitamin D as they can also cause those symptoms. I would rule out all the physical reasons first then maybe address the anxiety/depression with medication if they can’t find a physical reason for them.