I (20f) only have one friend (20f), besides my brother (19m) and my bf (23m), I’ve known her for 5 years. She’s my best friend, but I’m not hers, I’ve always known that.
I think as myself as a side friend for her, I’m not in her main friend group that she’s known since middle school. I’ve tried a few times to fit in and join them when I was 15/16, but they thought I was weird, they probably still do think I’m weird, so I stay away from them.
It still does secretly hurt my feelings when they all do things together, like weekend trips, or just a simple outing to a party or something. I just want to be social with people my age too, and being friends with my bff friends seems like it would be fun and the easiest way to have multiple friends.
My bff is very active on social media, always posting cute photos of herself and her friends. I’ve always noticed that I haven’t been posted the same amount as the others, I’ve had 2-3 while they’ve had 15+. It may not seem like much to older people, but it hurts my feelings.
I last saw my bff 4 months ago, it was a sleepover, we live 8 driving minutes away from each other. We used to see each other 3-5 times a month, sleepover or a day hangout for those 5 years, but for a year we have slowly stopped.
We call occasionally and will text a few times a week. That’s shorten than what it was at the beginning of the year, and idk how to approach that I want to talk to and see her more without sounding like a whiny baby or making it feel like a chore for her.
She has a part time job by her house, and she’ll spend time with her bf (22m). I wish she would plan a day with me instead of her bf, I would take even just one day a month.
Every once in a while she will call me names, like dumb or some variant of that. This only happened in front of her (now ex) bf she has called me chubby, I’m a normal weight, just more curvy and have bigger boobs and butt than her. This last year I’ve noticed how she’s obsessed with my boob size, they’re 2 or 3 times bigger than hers. When I first started dating my bf she said it was weird that I have a bf and she couldn’t see me being with someone like that. All of these have hurt my feelings.
Is this the end of my friendship? Is it slowly fading away? Should I let it and hold onto whatever I can get from her without being a nuisance? Without her I won’t have any friends. I know friendship goes both ways, but I don’t want to be putting in most of the effort.