Basically the title. It’s hard for me to find people close to me who have similar interests as me.
Bit of background, I live in a town that’s basically entirely families and retirees. I’m the only 25 year old who lives here. Very much “small community” vibes.
I work for the fire department/ambulance district here. It’s not a bad job. My coworkers are generally nice dudes. (Except for one who annoys me, being a prolific complainer and hates his wife. And he’s vocal about it.)
However, my interests like with things like gaming, lifting, cosplay, anime, manga, comics, and books. (One of my favorite genres is cosmic/lovecraftian horror)
The people around here are more into fishing/hunting, (sometimes they’re overly cruel in doing so.) Sports. (I like some sports, but not the ones these guys enjoy. I can only watch a car turn left so many times before I mentally check out.)
I don’t drink. I have my reasons for that.
Don’t smoke. Don’t need the health complications.
We have a few cons in the city where I probably COULD meet people with similar interests. (2 to the south, one west, one east, and one north. But each is a multiple hour drive to get to.)
I remember one day, a few hours before my brother’s wedding (which made me feel like an even bigger loser) I was with my brother and a few of his friends (one of whom is in his 50s) and I was sitting alone with this dude, and I just kind of decided to go for it.
“Hey, you wanna see a cool project I’m working on?” I asked.
“Sure, show me.” He said.
I showed him my mandalorian armor (which can be found elsewhere on my profile) and he point blank called me “one of those dress-up losers.”
So yeah, I don’t say much in the presence of my brothers friends anymore, and they have the nerve to wonder why.
This was mostly a vent post, but if anyone has advice, I’m open to it.
7 comments
Save $$ and move out of this town and go to a city.
Your interests are normal in other places, just not your hometown. But i get it, ppl around me don’t like what i like and nothing can be done about it. You just have to find your own community.
I don’t think your interests are especially niche. The issue is that you live in a small town with a culture that doesn’t match your preferences. Is there not a larger town you could get a job and move to?
I have found that having friends with similar socializing habits is a LOT more important than sharing my niche interests. For example I have friends who are into sewing and painting. Zero interest! And I, as a woman, am into fantasy football. And watching sports. They don’t care about that!
But that doesn’t affect our socializing at all. What’s more important is the type of place you like to go. So you want to avoid the bar scene, but maybe focus more on movies or events or physical fitness or comedy clubs or whatever floats your boat.
Niche interests are ONE way to MEET new people, for sure, but they aren’t necessary to build friendships either.
See imagine your town have a population of 100000, of this only 1% have intreast similar to you, still you will have 1000 peopke to count on you. You have to understand that according to your interests you might meet fewer people in your life but your friendship will be much deeper than anyone else.
I have similar niche interests that people sometimes look down upon. Even if I can’t find people like me irl I’ve found that discussing these topics in online groups dedicated to my specific interests has helped. They aren’t the same as real friends but it’s good to connect with people, even if they are complete strangers.
I live in a similar town with very similar people. I think you’d definitely have better luck in a city as many say or a college town. I’ve noticed in my search for a college that people with certain interests tend to culminate in particular colleges since they have clubs and programs pertaining to such things. Good luck and just be patient, you’ll find your people!