Sometimes when we have sex, I don’t finish. Often times it doesn’t bother me and I just chill with him after. Other times i’m still SUPER horny, and would love him to do something for me. I feel awkward just touching myself next to him, and Ive done this before and he kind of helped by just moaning n stuff in my ear. It was nice, but I felt pressured to finish because it seemed like he just wanted me to finish when he was moaning “cum for me”.
After I make him finish (BJ or sex) he tends to be done and doesn’t realise im still super horny. If he does realise, he asks how are you still horny in a sly tone kinda vibe and I feel like it’ll hurt him if I say something like because I didn’t finish babe. Usually I just say I cant help it and he doesn’t initiate anything back. I also dont want him to feel like he has to do something even if hes not horny anymore. I’m different, and if im not horny ill still give him BJs and stuff, alot of the time it takes starting something sexual to get horny at all. I usually give him a BJ before sex, like everytime we have sex he gets oral, or he will recieve oral and finish and I end up just feeling horny and have to wait hours for anything.
Main point: Is it disrespectful or selfish of me to want him to give me head or help me finish? Do you think he will get upset if I ask? Or feel like he has to? I’m not sure what to do.
28 comments
> and doesn’t realise im still super horny
Talk to him what the fuck?
It seems he doesn’t know what you want. He can’t read your mind (although he should have better manners). You need to tell him.
Depending on the sex scene, I’ll have her finish a couple times before i penetrate. After wards I’ll grab a vibrator and toy just because I like watching her orgasm moan and scream 😈
But yea, just talk to him about what you need.
Get a new boyfriend. You shouldn’t have to ask
Say “eat my pussy” it’s always worked on me
Have him finish you off before he cums.
He needs to prioritize your orgasm before his.
How about sexily saying ” ooo the dick was nice but gimmie some tounge right now.”
But seriously no it’s not even a little bit selfish or disrespectful to ask for help finishing when PIV doesn’t do it for you. The answer like it is in all cases like this is to talk to him, you’ve got all sorts of worries about how to react they’re coming from nowhere but your own head. Talk to him and if he does react the way that you’re afraid he does then you have critical information required in deciding what to do going forward.
Just ask him. Its not disrespectful or selfish. There isn’t some magic formula or secret method to this. Just ask him.
In those nights I truly care, I get her off first. I should do it more frequently tho.
Ask him to give you oral until you cum *before* sex. I don’t know about your bf, but once I cum, I’m done- which is why I always try to make sure she cums first. This way, if she doesn’t get off again during sex, at least we both still had an orgasm so nobody is left unsatisfied.
To be honest, he sounds like a selfish ass. Many women do not orgasm from penetration. There is nothing wrong with asking him to “help” you cum after he does. Most decent guys would do it without you having to ask.
“Hey after you cum please eat me out until i orgasm. Thankyou”
I would just tell him you need help finishing your final orgasm. My wife has multiple most times that we have sex but you can never count on finishing at the same time, so if she needs a little extra help finishing the last one my tongue is down there in a heartbeat.
I always take care of my wife first. It’s my mission to make her orgasm every time, by then I last no time as I’m ready to explode.
You need to tell him that you are not done and need help…
Communication is key
I would do it everyday twice a day if my wife let me. I would eat it for breakfast and dinner 😳
Get yours first.
But, also, don’t blow a guy to completion if he always leaves you hanging after he’s done with his orgasm. Depending on how he reads you during PiV sex, he may think you are reaching orgasm. But there’s no way in hell he thinks you’ve reached orgasm because his dick sneezed down your throat.
No matter what, you’re gonna have to tell him there’s an orgasm gap and that you don’t want to live that way.
You can try asking/insisting on yours first. You can try being sexy about it. When he makes his PiV move, you can shift into another position and say “make me cum first, it feels sooooo much better after I cum” or try to get some dirty talk from him by asking him to tell you how he’s going to get you off after he cums.
But, if he thinks you came when you didn’t, then it’s gonna be a shock. So the worst place to discuss this is the bedroom.
You’ll want to choose a more neutral, but still very private space. You’ll want to use a lot of “I” statements. You’ll want to leave space for his feelings. But don’t let him turn it into a conversation about how you’ve lied to him and betrayed him. That isn’t helpful or appropriate.
You’ll need to say something like “Hey, I have something personal that I want to talk about with you. I’m nervous to say it because it’s embarrassing and because it makes me feel like I’ve been failing to communicate with you. I know that good relationships are based on trust and open communication, and good sex is also about trust and open communication. And, I’ve never meant to hide anything or mislead you. But, some recent post-sex conversations have got me thinking that you believe I’ve orgasmed when I haven’t yet. I’ve been stressing about how to have this conversation because I don’t want to have you believing something that isn’t true but I’ve been worried that bringing it up will be difficult. But, obviously I’ve decided that honesty is the best policy, so there it is.”
Then let him have whatever feels he’ll have. Then bring the discussion back around to the topic at hand: closing the orgasm gap. This is a team problem-solving effort, not an accusation nor an ultimatum. Assume that he wants you to cum and proceed from there. If he’s more interested in his preferred style of sex than in your satisfaction, you have a bad/selfish lover on your hands, and that’s a different problem.
Tell him, don’t ask, to eat your pussy. 🤷🏿♂️ I personally don’t have any problem doing that before, in the middle of, after sex.
Have home read She Comes First.
I suggest you research orgasm equality. Might help you arguing for it. It is a good cause.
Absolutely not. Possibly. Possibly.
You ask.. pretty simple shit
Talk to him outside the bedroom when you aren’t in the middle of sex, and tell him all of this. If you can’t communicate with your partner about what you want, it’s time to learn. I can’t even imagine being with someone who didn’t make sure we were both satisfied.
Simple… “I’m not finished” and guide his head between your legs. 😍
“Is it disrespectful or selfish of me to want him to give me head or help me finish? Do you think he will get upset if I ask?”
No, if someone believes *you* are worth the effort, *they* will make the effort.
Maybe you might tell him you’d like for him to make you cum orally *before* having sex.
A lot of guys also prefer going down on a woman *before* they climax inside her vagina.
In other instances there are guys who after cumming from getting a BJ will give oral to their mate and by the time she cums he’s erect enough to have intercourse. He gets to cum twice!
There are only to ways to experience joy and peace of mind in relationships.
Either we get what we want, or we learn to be happy with what we have.
The goal is to have a “soulmate” not a cellmate.
No one is “stuck” with anyone. Suffering is optional.
When you realize someone is *unable/unwilling* to meet your needs it’s usually best to move on.
***”We don’t walk away to teach people a lesson. We walk away because we finally learned ours.”***- Unknown
***”Dating is primarily a numbers game…. People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That’s just the way it is.”*** – Henry Cloud
Best wishes!
This is so foreign to me. I just blurt out I need you to eat my pussy. A lot. And him waking up to me sitting on his face is constant.
Are there couples that don’t do this?
Bananas!
Our ratio is around 3:1 and if she has only cum twice before I cum inside her I love making her cum again.
Sounds like he knows and just doesn’t care. He’s selfish and lazy.
Don’t stand for that. Would he be ok if you came and then left him hanging to jerk off while you said cum for me? If you said “oh you’re still horny? Why?” And smirked?
Tell him outside of sex that you want to cum too. That he can make you cum before or after he cums, but he needs to care about your pleasure too. Just you are not just his masturbatory tool to pump and dump.
This might seem harsh. It’s not. He needs a wake up call. How can he even think it’s ok for one person to get off and not the other.
Communicate. Stand up for yourself. Do NOT be embarrassed. He is the one who should be embarrassed at his behavior so far
And if he does not step up, dump him. Plenty of guys are not selfish lovers. Find someone better
You gotta be your own advocate. Since women typically take longer to orgasm, very often we get mine out of the way. But if he happens to cum first, he always takes care of mine. I don’t even have to ask. This is what a proper gentleman should be doing. He might not realize it, so you get to teach him.
My boyfriend eats me out before sex every time (unless it’s a quickie) he knows i don’t cum from penetration so he make sures i cum before he does.
Also takes a lot of pressure off of how long he last.
I’d just talk to him. My boyfriend didn’t always do that until we had a conversation about him meeting my needs.