It might be because I don’t understand humor, but I don’t know why people think it’s funny to say/do hurtful things to others. My classmates would say something hurtful about me (for example making fun of my grammar mistakes, no matter how long ago they were), and whenever I call them on it, they would say, “Oh, it’s a joke!!!” or, “You’re overreacting!!!” or, “You have no humor!!!”.
For example, I had a really petty argument with a classmate a couple of months ago. After a few hours passed, I decided to apologize to her. When I apologized (to which the girl completely ignored) , this guy sitting nearby started mimicking what I said. When I told him it wasn’t funny, the girl said, “Would you stop whining? He’s actually funny, unlike you.” Completely embarrassed and hurt, I just walked away while the guy and his friends started giggling.
So, why do people think being hurtful is funny? Am I just overreacting? Do I have no humor?
3 comments
Well, the problem here is them. If you make it clear that you DON’T like that kind of joke, you don’t enjoy it and you don’t like it and they keep going, then it’s not even a real joke. They are just immature people who enjoy seeing you react badly when they do something you don’t like. The problem is absolutely NOT you, it’s them. Well, what to do? The first thing is not to give them what they want. Show some indifference to their comments. You can achieve this by developing your self-esteem and remembering that: 1) Other people’s comments DO NOT define who you are nor your worth (we are all human and we are all different) 2) They are not people close to you, so their opinion is WORTHLESS. If they don’t like you and look down on you, they’re the ones who are losing something.
Another idea would be to start joking about them or respond in a way that is creative and appropriate to the situation (although it’s not always easy, maybe you can train yourself on this a bit), assuming you haven’t already done so. showing that you are not only indifferent but that you can stand up to him in a non-violent way. Otherwise, by telling them so, they will only know where to strike, but they won’t stop doing it.
PS If when you show more confidence, that their comments don’t cause you problems and that you can also respond to them adequately they get angry and become too offensive or aggressive, then you have definitively revealed that they are the problem. So don’t worry too much about that. They are always the ones to make a fool of themselves in that case.
My advice would be to not take things so seriously. It sounds like the classmate didn’t want (or need) you to apologize.
The guy was mocking you for not realizing that.
You may be coming off a bit too “nice.” It’s an unfortunate reality about people, but sometimes being nice gets interpreted as being weak – which can be a signal for others to pick on you.
When someone is trying to get a rise out of you, the best thing you can do is stay calm and not give them too much energy. It’s best to just mentally say “whatever” and move on.
They need to pick on other people to feel better about themselves. Low self esteem and attention seeking. I know it’s hard but try to ignore people who are like that. They are trying to get a reaction out of you.