For the context my boyfriend is Egyptian and I’m American. He’s been here for 2 years as a student. He met me thanks to a mutual friend who is in the same university as him.
He’s physically attractive, tall, smart, educated and everthing but he’s also sensitive, emotional and really jealous and protective over me. We’ve friends for over 6 months so far. When he’s hanging out with me and we’re on a date, he’s absolutely sweet and kind. But the thing is that he wants me all for himself. Once we were walking on a street and I met someone’s dog. I thought it’s cute so I tried to pet it. As soon as I did it, he grabbed my hand and said “it’s a bit unsanitary to touch stranger animals!” Then he said “I want that cute little hands to pet me only. Can’t let some dog make them dirty”. This was a really weird statement to me kinda sweet how he is so into me but the fact that he can’t even tolerate me petting a dog is strange. I’ve never seen someone who minds such little things.
Another day I just uploaded a video of myself holding my baby newphew who’s just 5 years old and I kissed his face and been playful with him. Unfortunately I had a headache and back pain. I just went past my period and I didn’t feel right. So when he called me I told him that I’m a bit tired and we will get to hang out tommorow or few days later. the next day he comes at my house with a mad look on his face, ranting at me about how I was so cold with him the other day. “if you had a headache then how did you cuddle that child? Am I less than a child to you? Why couldn’t you be sweet and cuddly with me instead? Either the headache was just an excuse or you’re trying to play with my feelings” he didn’t stop at this he went on and ranted for like 30 minutes. All because I kissed a baby and I didn’t hang out with him that day due to my headache. The anger and hate I saw on his face is hardly explainable by words. It seems he holds a grudge against anyone and anything who gets slightest bit of attention and love from me.
Well, if he’s this sensitive to animals and babies, imagine how he would react to me speaking with another guy. That’s a big no. I am aware of this and I avoid having any long conversation with other males. Not even on social media. Because I once replied to some guys who commented on my pics on Instagram and said thanks. He made me delete all their comments besides my replies. Saying that those guys don’t deserve even a reply from me and asked me not to do that ever again.
One might ask “why are you giving him so much control over yourself” well let me be honest, he’s way too handsome to piss off lol. I don’t have the heart to argue with him. Even the day I said I can’t hang out I said it with a soft tone and when he was shouting and ranting at me about the baby I couldn’t do anything but smile and ask for him to calm down and forgive me. Besides this he’s good as a person if we exclude his obsessive and jealous personality. He’s pretty honest and he always expresses what he truly feels. Tbh this wasn’t the case with any of my previous boyfriends. They were not posessive but they also tended to lie and hide a lot of stuff from me. He on other hand says everything that is in his mind and heart.
So I don’t know what to do I like him and I don’t have the heart and courage to speak loudly with him and criticize him or something. Should I just submit to his will and avoid making him aggregated and jealous or I should somehow let him know that this level of obsessiveness is not healthy?
35 comments
Run girl run. As fast as you can away from him. Massive red flag.
Coercive control and jealousy is a massive no no
Break up, this will only get worse
Would you accept his behavior if he wasn’t so handsome?
Dude is psycho. Leave. Right now.
He’s too handsome to piss off?
Sorry but you sound incredibly shallow.
You are going to get murdered. Is the dick really so good that you are ready to die for it?
>He’s way to handsome to piss off lol
Okay then. You’ve decided you’re willing to accept shitty treatment from attractive men. Nothing we can do to help you if that’s the case.
His looks don’t matter, he is a controlling AH.
In nature, colorful and beautiful [to us] creatures many times are venomous or poisonous.
That’s him.
They are always a good person when they are not actively abusive that moment. Does not mean that they are not abusive the other times.
Go ahead, stay with the guy and see what it does to you in one or five years. You might think that it’s not that bad and that you are made of sterner stuff but the steady drip of water carves the stone.
He will isolate you from strange men. Then men in general. Then your friends. By that time you will find yourself making excuses for his shitty behaviour to the few people you do have left. Then he will start getting angry when you speak about your relationship issues with anyone. You will feel like walking on eggshells.
Boy-o thinks you are his posession and belives himself entitled to you. This will blow up in your face.
This guy is gonna suplex you through a table next time you say hello to a male coworker and you’re like “yeah but he’s so cute tho” come on lmfao
Sure, if you want it to escalate to proper full-on abuse. His behaviour isn’t at all cceptable, it’s incredibly naive to think it is because he’s good looking. Ffs You aren’t allowed to pet a dog, show affectation to a 5 year old family member, or speak to men. It’s extremely controlling, and you’re allowing it. I’m wondering if this is a troll post. Seriously.
So abuse is ok if the person is good looking? Ok.
🤢 “I let my bf treat me like garbage because he’s handsome”
Lmfao stupidity at its best.
#tell him to fuck off forever
“well let me be honest, he’s way too handsome to piss off lol”
every ounce of empathy i had for you just dissolved.
anyways, enjoy your lifetime of pain since you cant stop thinking with your gooch.
If that’s the case, then you’re choosing to be with an abusive and controlling person. It’s juvenile, I all but guarantee you will regret staying with someone like that…As this behavior continues and controls more and more of your life, his looks will not matter. He’s grooming you into severe submission.
You’ve accepted his red flags. All because he’s handsome.
You’re willingly subjecting yourself to a relationship that is, if not already dancing along the lines of abuse — is definitely gonna end up that way. What if you two have kids? Would he neglect the baby because it’s taking your attention away from him? He’s actually nuts. Like this isn’t healthy from ANYONE.
Either wake the hell up or lie in the bed you’ve made. You know what the right choice is. So A) grow a spine and B) get the courage to tell him to get GONE.
“Should I just submit to his will…?”
That’s what you’ll be doing for the rest of your life as long as you are with this guy.
Don’t mistake his “protectiveness” and jealousy as a sign that he cares for you. He’s controlling and insecure and he has no reservations about putting all sorts of limitations on your life just so he can maintain that sense of control over you.
This is not what a healthy relationship looks like.
No one is hot enough to put up with this bullshit.
You should fucking run.
Too handsome to piss off? TOO HANDSOME TO PISS OFF?! Have some self respect; no man in the world is worth what you’re allowing.
You need to work on this issue, for yourself. You don’t deserve to be treated this way and it’s immature of him.
…are you fuckin serious lmfao?
g r o w u p
Girl send him home.
I’m skeptical that this is real for a number of reasons but for those reading who actually are in a similar position where a significant other is being weirdly possessive, you leave. This behavior isn’t normal or healthy. It is not a sign that the person loves you or wants you-it’s a sign that they want to control you.
Your significant other should be a partner who treats you with respect, not a person who treats you like you exist only for them.
you do remember that looks fade right? shitty personalities and toxic behaviors doesn’t. If you don’t accept the behavior from someone less handsome then you shouldn’t accept it from him stop being stupid.
If you’re ok with him being pissed off, possessive and jealous 24/7 just because hes handsome. “Suffer” in silence then🙄
Seems like you have your mind made up. It’s ok if he’s controlling and dangerous because he’s good looking. Good luck I suppose.
Please do not underestimate the cultural differences between you, and this Egyptian man.
American women are raised to believe in the right to be respected as an equal, the freedom to make decisions, and even the basic right to be treated as if your needs matter.
Very conservative Middle Eastern religious teachings Focus on women being obedient, women being property.
Please do not find out too late what this man’s expectations are. Don’t assume he was raised with the same value as you were.
Oh honey, never marry this man. He will be even more jealous and become control, and try to isolate you from everyone you know.
Coming from an egyptian girl , we really mean well 🥺 but this is how we learned love from our extremely controlling and borderline abusive parents. It’s so hard to unlearn . I am similar to your bf as an egyptian girl and all My relationships suffered from it . I relate with the anger as well . I feel kind of bad for him because we really don’t mean to hurt anybody , it’s just so hard to understand western culture and relationships, when growing up in the household we did
Egyptian Ted Bundy? 🤔
Looks fade. This toxic behaviour could be your life forever if you don’t get out now while you can, before it gets worse. One day he won’t be handsome anymore, and he’ll be insufferable and abusive on top of that.