Hey, so I got married in December and with it came some changes to my budget, financial structure and the way I do banking. All of our views are from the perspective of wanting to be fully joined as one. We have one checking account and as of now, one savings (while we save for a house and pay off debts). Do you folks have separate accounts? Do you have “your money and my money”? What’s the scoop?
Edit: I just wanted to add that I don’t think any particular way is right or foolish or something.
Edit2: I’m not looking for advice, I’m asking about what you folks do. Thanks though!
30 comments
Ours are all combined. Before we got married they were already pretty muddled together anyway.
I know couples who practice a wide range of financial habits. Some share everything 100%, others have everything completely separated and pay each other like they’re another monthly/weekly invoice.
This is a communication thing, whatever works best for you and your spouse is what you should do. There is no “best” way, but joint accounts are certainly more convenient.
Combined, and my wife is on all of my credit cards, but one. And she has one credit card that I’m not on. Both are cards that rarely get used.
Not technically married but it’s only a matter of time and been together almost 10 years, and this will continue regardless of whether or not we’re married: we keep them separate, I usually pay the main bills, my SO pays for the groceries, and it usually roughly evens out by the end of the month, but we keep track of how much we’ve spent on each thing and reconcile it at the end of the month. Sometimes I owe her some money, sometimes she owes me some, just depends on the month. We each just autopay half of the rent.
Split. I didn’t get married until in my late 30’s and neither of us were interested in combining them
Completely combined. We are a team in life and that is reflected in how we handle our money.
Totally combined.
Of course, we got married when we had nothing but car payments and student loans, lol
Most of our incomes go into joint accounts (checking and savings) but we each pay ourselves a small set amount from our paychecks into personal accounts. That way we can each buy our own stupid stuff without the other complaining.
We also each have our own credit cards and a joint card. Joint one is used for everything and is paid from the joint account. Personal credit cards are just like personal accounts and paid from those personal accounts. That way we each have our own credit lines and credit histories separate from one another – besides the obvious of not wanting to use debit cards online.
We have a joint checking account that the bulk of our paychecks go to, and also personal ones that a smaller portion goes to.
Separate, just never bothered to combine them for over 20 years now.
Married. We are transparent and talk, but keep our own for convenience to deposit checks and monitor, and just added each other to the account. I make the most and pay the lion’s share of bills so we never needed to fully combine for any reason.
Separate, I could never put myself in a vulnerable position where I can’t take care of myself. But we all have different life experiences. We contribute equally to a joint account for shared expenses and then the rest is ours. There is no need to judge each other on what we choose to spend money on because it’s our own. It’s worth noting we make about the same amount.
Our are combined, but I know people who keep them separate, each taking responsibility for different bills. Both ways work just fine as long as communication is good.
We are at different banks and never got around to combining so everything is separate. It works for us. We both make about the same amount of money. We aren’t transactional about things. We each have our own money to do what we want with and both have savings goals too.
We have separate accounts but both have access and everything is synced in Mint. Joint credit cards and investment accounts (ex the retirement accounts).
I’ve seen people keep separate accounts and one is responsible for mortgage while other cars plus utility. Those seem to relate to later life marriages and/or income disparity.
Kind of combined. We have a joint account we both put 50% in, then we each have our own private accounts. It works for us. We also have access to each other’s accounts if we need it. My wife also occasionally checks our joint spending
We mostly combined them because I out-earned him by a lot. Now that we’re going through a divorce, untangling that has been the worst part.
Separate. Been married 19 years. We do have a joint account that is used fro groceries. Approximately 25% of marriages end due to financial problems/disagreements. We decided this before we got married, and it’s worked out great. Not once have we had an argument over money.
Our finances are completely separate and actually at different financial institutions.
We split the major bills (mortgage, insurance) and there are certain things I take care of and certain things he takes care of.
I handle the household legal stuff and paperwork, so he just writes me a check for his half of things and I just take care of everything every month.
My spouse and I have had shared accounts since we married.
Completely combined. Although some do separate, often that’s not a practical option.
Ours are combined all the way. We are in our 50s. My husband has been the primary breadwinner. I’ve been a SAHM for most of the marriage. His job (military) had us moving a lot. So keeping a job was hard for me.
I manage the finances, which he appreciates. He hates doing it. Occasionally, i will revisit our financial goals with him and review our finances to keep him in the loop. It works for us.
Married 10 years, never combined finances, mostly out of laziness. We divvied up expenses and chores when we moved in together and it’s worked so far. We’ve always made about the same amount of money, when one of us is making a little more that person has always picked up more mutual expenses with no discussion necessary. No kids, we rent an apartment and each have our own cars, that probably makes it a lot easier.
Our finances are completely separate. We don’t even have a joint banking account. We feel more comfortable that way.
We share finances, but have individual (in practice, not in name) checking accounts our paychecks go into and credit cards one person or the other uses primarily. We do this because it’s easier to keep track of one persons spending and we trust each others ability and willingness to do so.
We split the bills so we both have about the same amount left after everything is payed (and money has been added to shared savings). If necessary, we move money back and forth between the accounts in the event of large unexpected or one off payments.
All combined. We are both frugal and it doesnt cause any issues.
We don’t have “your money” and “my money,” but we’ve always had separate accounts. The only joint thing was the house which is now paid off.
We’re double income, no kids and it works for us. But you have to find what works best for your relationship.
Any time I answer this question, there’s always someone who wants to tell me that our approach is “wrong” or “selfish” or a sign we’re not committed. We’ve been married 26 years and never argue about money, so clearly this works for us.
I make it. Partner spends it but does the books. It works. We’re happy. I don’t usually handle any transactions and personally don’t want to…
My wife and I have separate accounts. We divide up the bills.
We like it better that way
A former coworker had the best arrangement I ever heard of. She & her husband shared their major finances, like their house purchase & investments. And they had a joint account for household expenses. Most of their pay went into the household account. But each also had their own smaller checking account. That way they could each make minor purchases without having to coordinate constantly.
I always thought I’d do things that way if I ever got married.