Been dating 53M for 3 years. His married college friend 51F has been rude and condescending to me numerous times. Although he witnessed her being rude, he never said anything to her. He did acknowledge some of her crass actions. He would blame me and excuse her.
She lives in CA but travels to MA monthly for her job. Every time she comes into town, his priority is her and I am not invited to hang out with them.
Because of Covid she was not able to travel
For the past year, I have been playing second fiddle when A is in town.
When she got married, her husband had 2 physical altercations with my now Ex BF.
In the past few months A and my EX boyfriend have been on 2 vacations. I’m feeling awful and he keeps saying I’m over reacting
30 comments
Yes, in a heads up/just wanted to inform you manner. Dont say you think they’re cheating
I don’t know if they are
I think there is a potential red flag 🚩 going on here and he’s being very selfish towards you!
You need to let him know those boundaries before someone gets emotionally hurt
I’m sorry he’s being a d1ck OP but I guess you know this already.
Live your best life and let us know how you get along 🙂
I’m being emotionally drained and abused. He’s saying to me that I’m being a psycho
Any time your partner puts other’s feelings above yours is a problem and is not right.
He made me feel like I was being controlling or insecure if I questioned him
You said x BF?
Is he your boyfriend or ex?
Whatever he is, you must know that he’s actively carrying on an affair with her, right?
I know it’s tough to process and you’re probably being gaslighted, but I’d say there is a 99.6% chance they’re in an active affair.
His is my X X jerk. X gaslighter
So I’ll call her husband
How old are you?
Why are you with this disrespectful idiot? Drop him like a hot potato and move on. You can do a zillion times better than him. Stop letting him do this to you because it will continue and maybe even get worse down the line.
“over-reacting” or not, you aren’t comfortable taking a backseat to his “friend.” Your feelings aren’t going to change and he has made it clear his behavior isn’t going to change. This seems like a no-brainer.
Even just the fact that he blows your feelings off as “over-reacting” is a red flag. Even if you were over-reacting about something, your feelings should be listened to and respected.
She’s the one he really wants.
>In the past few months A and my EX boyfriend have been on 2 vacations. I’m feeling awful and he keeps saying I’m over reacting
lol, what? The only circumstances I’d be going on 2 vacations with somebody in “the past few months” would be my wife or maybe immediate family members if scheduling things got wonky
There is no scenario where it would be solo with some other married friend
Just leave the whole messed up situation behind
If her husband and your ex boyfriend have been in physical altercations, the answer is obvious.
They’ve been having an affair for years.
Sounds like they have an affair
Did you just stand there and take her being rude? You need to start pulling people up and calling them out, literally go to verbal town on them, your BF sounds like a rude clown himself, let them create their own circus and you stop going to watch it
Did you say you guys were in your 50s and still acting like this?
Thanks so much. I felt alone and confused. In my past I would have kicked his ass, literally. I have moved beyond physical violence and exacting revenge. Now I am left with no recourse besides moving on. I wish it was 1992 and I could beat the fuck out of them.
So he’s most likely having an affair with her
Just a guess here: She’s married in to security, where he’s the side lover. In order to keep up appearences You’re his gf.
Respect Yourself, and ditch him. Even a casual partner has more respect for You.
Besides all the intricacies in people’s life which make it ‘complicated’: When You’re not backing your partner, is there even a relationship? Relationships are based on trust and respect for eachother in order to be able to open up. Is the respect still there?
You did say EX, right? I’m confused. Usually when it’s over, it’s O V E R.
You need to learn to let go. Letting that asshole live rent-free in your head isn’t doing you any good at all. Let him go, already.
You need to clarify. Is he your bf or your ExBF? You keep dodging that. If he’s an ex, then you need to move on and forget about it because it’s not your problem. If he’s your BF then you need to dump his ass and move on. because it’s pretty obvious they have a side thing going on.
HE is my EX BOYFRIEND
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His is dumped, my EX. I was kicking ass in 1995!!! Grew up pretty fast in MA. My EX and his adulterous chick are American and they are both in their early 50’s.
Red flag!
Gurl…get away fast.
I’m running away like my ass is on FIRE!
If he is now an Ex and they have been on 2 vacations, You were right to ditch him. He and her probably had a bit of something going and it now still flowing. Don’t take him back.