What are you thoughts/perspectives on starting a relationship long/medium distance?

3 comments

1. I’m in a long distance relationship (over 13,000km/8,300mi) and there’s a lot to consider in order to make it work. The main three things for myself and my partner are:

   1. Setting aside time for them every single day. My partner and I are on video call with each other as often as we can be, but it started off as an hour a day. Couples time is so important when you’re so far away from each other.
   2. Working out each others’ values, ethics, morals, expectations and emotional needs early in the relationship. LDRs are already a huge emotional investment so you want to get everything as figured out as you can early on.
   3. There has to be an end-game. The whole point of most LDRs is to eventually close the distance. Some couples are fine with long-distance only, but most people need and want to be physically close to their partners. The topic of closing the distance should come up very early on, with ongoing discussions happening regularly.

   Every long distance couple is different, but communication and emotional intimacy are the most important aspects of a LDR in my experience; more so than any other relationship I’ve had.

2. It worked for me when I ‘met’ my partner by chatting on an old message board on the Internet. We emailed and found out that we liked one another’s style of writing and had interests that matched. We lived on opposite sides of the country and my partner had children, so it wasn’t simple to just meet up whenever. However we did find time to meet in person and this definitely clicked. We talked every day, by email and on a good old phone and managed to get together mostly on a Sunday. We met in May and by the time Autumn and Winter approached we realised we wanted more, but circumstances were challenging. However, if you want something badly enough there is a way and by the following September we were living together and have since (20+ years). It can work with the right person, with honesty, trust and determination. If you choose to do it, good luck, for me it was and is amazing.

3. Nothing particular, I started mine that way, different continent + basically our country’s enemies so impossible to get a visa the normal way. It’s just more tougher than irl relationships and requires more courage and mental strength cause without it lol I definitely wouldn’t had build a family and married him.