So I have been talking to a guy I met on Bumble for almost 3 months. We live in separate states so we have not met in person yet.
At the start of us talking, it was going really good. We talked a lot and stayed on the phone for hours. He really felt like someone I could see myself being in a relationship with. He was funny, tall, kind, and respectful. He was everything I was looking for on paper.
However, recently, I woke up one day and suddenly all the things he does (calling me everyday, sending me voice notes throughout the day, sending me random pics) started to just annoy me. I am not sure what happened. There are also a couple of other things too like I feel as though he does not make an effort (he has made several promises he will come down and see me and has never followed through), he also has not told anyone about me despite asking to be exclusive. And sometimes he is also kind of dumb.
Suddenly I feet like Im not ready for a relationship and if I am going to be in one surely I should have stronger feelings, right? I know fairytale romance doesn’t exist but I don’t know if I feel a spark.
I have been going through some personal issues (like with family) so I’m wondering if maybe I’m projecting that? Also the responsibilities attached to a relationship really freak me out, maybe I am acting out because of that?
I am going to his state soon and I am not sure if it is worth meeting with him or if I should call it off now. I mean can those feelings ever come back?
If I should break it off, what can I say without it sounding like I led him on? I don’t have much experience with dating.
TLDR: Been talking to someone online, but not feeling it anymore- should I break it off now or after we meet in person?
1 comment
You didn’t lead him on – you were sincerely interested in getting to know him and seeing if there was relationship potential there.
It turns out after a pretty short period of chatting that the chemistry isn’t there. Sometimes feelings change quickly. It’s not like something you planned, which saying you lead him on suggests you planned to use him for attention or whatever.
That’s what dating is for. Getting to know someone and seeing if there’s chemistry. If there’s not, we move on politely. It’s not unkind to tell him that it’s been nice chatting, but the chemistry just isn’t there and you’re calling things off.