I have a coworker who has kind of latched on to me, so to speak. A very very sweet person and I feel she is truly just wanting to fit in and make friends. But she follows me everywhere – to the point where she asked my coordinator if she could sit in on a meeting with us! It’s making it very awkward and very difficult to get work done timely and efficiently because she follows me around and asks questions about what I’m doing. All. Day. Long.
I really do not love confrontation, but I take pride in my job and what I do and this is getting really frustrating. She also calls/texts me constantly after hours. I’ve met up with her once for lunch after she continuously asked me to go and she didn’t bring any money. It’s just a really uncomfortable situation, but I do not want to hurt her feelings!
How do I handle this? I don’t want to report her to our director because she’s really new and I want her to do well at her job.. but how is she getting her job done when she follows me around at mine all day!? I feel so bad but it’s overwhelming.
1 comment
I understand that this situation is difficult for you. Indeed this person does not seem to know when to stop. The first thing to understand here is: Does he do it with everyone or just you? And the second: If he only does it with you, why? Once you understand this, you are already halfway there and you can figure out how to tell her to limit herself in the best way. What you have to do is set limits, in a calm way. You have to be assertive, basically. If you do it right, and I’m sure you can, you won’t even face any conflicts. At most, it will sadden her a little, but it’s better to be clear right away, in my opinion. Of course I would also avoid reporting her , but just tactfully say something like, “Sorry, I have to go to the meeting now, so we can’t talk anymore now, see you later.” If she insists, tell her politely that she can’t come/don’t want her to go and tell her that you will speak at another time. How to say it depends on her character, however.