I (41F) have been dating my boyfriend (42M) for three years and for probably the last two, we rarely have sex. It’s maybe once every few months and when we do, it seems like he’s not into it. There’s no foreplay on his end, even though I do a lot in that area for him. He has said that it’s boring (his past relationships have been pretty short) but I’ve suggested so many different things and I’m very adventurous when it comes to sex, probably more than average. I’ve brought it up a number of times and stressed that it’s become a significant issue and he usually gets defensive and feels like shit but nothing changes. The last time I asked for sex (which is very rare since i don’t want to pressure him), he got upset and said I deserve better (meaning someone else). His testosterone is in the high range of normal and his mental health is probably the best it’s been in the past couple years. I love him and I want this to work but there’s been no attempt on his end to change things. Any advice or insight would be appreciated!
5 comments
This is as good as your sex life will be with this man. So if this is a deal breaker for you…
People won’t change unless they feel the need to. He doesn’t feel the need to change, so don’t expect him to change. What you can do is change and see if he changes as well. People tend to no longer keep in shape as they age, as metabolism slows. So what you can do is change your body by keeping in shape by working out with resistance exercises, some light cardio, and eating healthy. It might reignite his hormones for you.
Unless you live together, I’m sure he is getting his sexual needs meet from someone or someone’s else
You say it’s been this way for two years now…
He says sex with you is boring despite you giving all the foreplay and being adventurous…
He gets defensive…
Nothing changes…
Nothing is going to change sweetie. I am sorry. when a man tells you to your face that you deserve better…go get someone better.
How long ya dated for or been together?