I am almost 44 years old. I lost my v-card days after I turned 22. That was literally half my lifetime ago and I feel like decades later, I am still being judged for it. Like there is something still wrong with me. I have gotten funny looks and one girl close to my own age even laughed when the time came to have that conversation. Despite me having been married for 12 years, multiple relationships since then, and being quite sexually experienced by now.
Has anyone else run into this? Is this really a red flag even many years after the fact?
EDIT: There seems to be a miscommunication here. It’s not like I have this conversation with just anybody. Only women in a dating context when sex starts to get brought up. Most people in my life have zero idea of this aspect of me and I certainly don’t bring it up to just anyone.
40 comments
No. I can’t even remember the last time I had that conversation with someone. It’s definitely not something I ask people. That’s weird.
[deleted]
My question is why are you having this conversation with anyone, at 43 years old? It’s nobody’s business, and there’s nothing wrong with you.
Aside from that, I don’t think anybody of normal intelligence and maturity cares.
I don’t see what’s wrong with that, I lost mine at 16 and I wish I had waited.
I haven’t ran into this issue, but I don’t believe it’s a red flag. People wait for a multitude of reasons and shouldn’t be judged on it
I lost mine late (25)
Its always been a source of shame for me, but no woman I’ve been with since has ever given a fuck.
It would baffle me if someone found that a red flag. I can’t even understand the thinking behind it?! It says absolutely nothing about who you are as a person now, and really it says nothing about who you were when you were young either without further context. Anyone who would judge you for that half your life later isn’t worth your time anyway.
I see no issue especially being so long ago but everyone has their own idea of red flags. When I was OLD I had a girl tell me having only slept with four women was a red flag and eventually ghosted me over it. I was with my ex wife for ten years+ it’s not like I’m inexperienced just had lots of sex with one person. idk what her deal was with it
I have literally never been asked when I lost my virginity. Why does this come up for you so regularly?
But if a weird conversation topic to have.
I lost it at 31 and it doesn’t bother me.
Why you associating yourself with ppl that care about when you lost your virginity? You are 44 years old so why do you even care what they think
ehh I was a 20 year old virgin up until a few months ago, the girl i had sex with was happy to take it from me
I’d say losing your v-card way too young is more of a red flag than losing it in your mid twenties.
Why does that even come up? Are you playing truth or dare?
Why are you telling people?
It’s odd that people are asking this at all. I can’t remember the last time someone asked me when I lost my virginity and I haven’t asked anyone else. Although I occasionally will tell friends my “losing my virginity” story because it’s funny, so I guess that counts lol. But I certainly wouldn’t consider it a red flag. That said, I probably wouldn’t want to date a virgin at my age (35f).
Never ask that or body county cause someone’s feelings are going to get hurt 😂
I didn’t get my drivers license until I was 22. I am about to turn 40. I feel like that’s a red flag personally lol
I think anyone judging anyone about anything related to their virginity including the timing is themselves a red flag. Like if one of my friends laughed at you for saying you lost your virginity at age 22, I would think less of her and distance myself from that person. That’s a very strange thing to judge someone about
That’s super weird for it to be a “red flag.” I’m more concerned with people with many casual partners – I’m a “no casual” guy because sex has to be meaningful to me, there needs to be a level of emotional intimacy before I’ll engage, and it makes me incompatible with a lot of other people’s philosophies. To each their own though, right?
I’m 31m and this kind of question always been asked by my female partners, in the beginning of the relationships.
They were all 16 when they did it, like every single one.
I lost mine at 23 because I had some other focus than the fake socializing you have to do in order to get friends then meet chicks to date.
I wouldn’t know the date, don’t care, would never ask. That’s kind of strange.
Well you shouldn’t be judged for that. Nothing wrong in waiting. I don’t think they give out prizes to those who lost at a young age, at a later age or any age. It’s no one’s business. When you get serious and intimate with someone, then have that conversation. It’s on a need to know basis.
No, but being judged for the age at which you lost it is a total red flag. Dont know why society as a whole cares so much about what age you start having sex but i think its dumb as fuck.
It shouldn’t be a red flag, not sure why it is. Age 22 is still a young person, not like you were 40 when you lost it.
I havent talked about my virginity since losing it because thats just a weird subject
Literally no one else has run into this.
I woudnt say it’s a red flag at all. I think the only people who actually care about when you lost it are those under 25. Everyone who is an actual adult won’t nor should they care. I lost mine at 20 and I told someone recently and they thought I was too old to have lost it at that age. You lost it at the right time you wanted to and it shouldn’t matter what anyone else says.
Lost mine at 28 or so. I don’t care and neither does anyone else.
I’ve told most of the women I’ve dated and they basically don’t believe me. Never been judged for it though.
I lost my virginity when I was 26, but then as a “late bloomer” I suppose, I was able to have a very successful dating and sex life after that. Now when I’ve told women about this, they will find it hard to believe that I used to be a shy, unconfident virgin. They are surprised by it, some have thought it’s a little funny, but I have never felt judged because of it. Quite the opposite. Usually women are impressed that I turned it around.
Definitely not a red flag. People who care are silly
No, and honestly any woman who gets hung up on whether a 44 year old man she’s dating lost his virginity 22 years ago or 25 years ago is a fucking weirdo.
It’s more of a red flag when someone judges you for it
It’s a red flag only if someone makes it one
I’m 38 and still a virgin
I was 25. You’re stressing over something that doesn’t matter one bit.
27… still haven’t lost it. Waiting for the right person.
I certainly hope not. I’m still a virgin at nearly 28 sooooo….
I lost my virginity when I was 19 and I regret it. I should’ve listened to my parents and waited until I finished college 🤷🏻♀️
Everyone has their time, just ignore these people.
Anybody who judges you for it is a certified moron and should be blocked out of your life. I lost mine at 24 and nobody has cared. Anybody who does can go kick rocks.