33M – Profile review / dating advice request – ONE YEAR PROGRESSION

29 comments

1. I’m a guy but 10/10. Damn dude if you’re having problems I’m fucked. It may not be the profile either if it’s after 2nd/3rd date. It could just be vibe, etc or something. Good luck!

2. Hmm you have no problems getting matches but it’s after the dates that’s when they trail off or become distant?

   Honestly your profile is awesome. How you described your personality is exactly what I see in your profile. Handsome, genuine and wholesome.

3. Can’t fault it, you are quite cute.

4. >I think my profile works well at getting dates dates with women I’m interested in but I’m having difficult drawing them in after the 2/3rd date stage.

   If you aren’t having issues getting dates, then its **not** an issue with your profile. This might have to do more with your life, career, background, what actually goes on during the date, etc.

   Can you perhaps provide more information on how the first dates go? Where do you take them? Do you bring anything on the date (flowers, chocolates, etc)? How comfortable are you talking to them?

   I also noticed that you list HR Lead at Financial Services, but then you show a chef’s uniform as your uniform. Are you in HR or are you a chef?

5. Your dating profile is very detailed, your pics are wonderful, and if you lived in the US I would have swiped right on you immediately. 😅 I can see why you have no problems getting matches.

   If it’s not progressing to the second or third date, I wonder if it’s the topics that are discussed during the date that can turn the women off. I’m not sure. What do you usually do when you go on a date with someone?

6. I think norms in your country are a little different but if you were in the US I’d recommend cutting down on the emojis – they can read as juvenile.

   If you’re getting enough dates though, doubt your profile is the issue. Might just need to retool your approach a bit. Without knowing you or being on the date, my first suggestion would be to self evaluate whether you’re *really and truly* talking for 50% of the time and practicing deep listening- one of the guys I went out on a date with a while ago who was out of a longterm relationship and didn’t have much recent dating experience essentially treated me to a two hour running monologue… and had no idea he was even doing it. I doubt you’re that bad if you’re getting to date 2 but still something to consider: whether you’re treating dates as a meeting of minds or a job interview where you need to impress them.

   In all honesty I think the issue is either

   a) dating is hard in your 30s
   B) not realizing how you’re coming across to a stranger bc you’ve been out of the game a while

   So I’d focus on that instead of the profile

7. You look like me with hair, so looks great to me hah. The photos are excellent, not surprised you’re getting matches/dates. Profile isn’t the issue.

   Sounds like you’re just not creating enough tension on dates or just haven’t hit on the right chemistry match yet. Keep at it. 👍🏻

8. I agree, you’re super cute and I would swipe right.

   Can be so frustrating to not connect but if you’re really looking for a good match it’s not the worst. Just keep dating, eventually you will meet someone who is a good match. I always have to tell myself that “I’m not for everybody and everybody is not for me.”

9. I think you have a great profile. One exception. I would remove the photo of you with the chef uniform. I understand the caption says you went to cooking school for fun. I personally don’t read all the captions when you have to click the photo. I would perceive this as a lie since you say your work in HR. Which would immediately turn me off.

   Also, some people wouldn’t want to date someone with night shift hours. Nothing against service industry people at all. I just personally wouldn’t date someone with the opposite schedule as me.

10. I’d hope on the first date you’d bring the wine AND prosciutto 🤷‍♀️

11. How is a bottle of prosseco “cheeky”?

12. Aww, you have really really nice pics and smile! Your prompts seem genuine and convey a positive, balanced personality and someone who’d be fun to hang around with.

    Given what the dating scene is like in general, the above alone is so refreshingly wonderful that I would probably swipe right on you *even though I’m fairly sure that we’re not really a match*. Yep.

    How to correct for that? I have one question: **what is wrong with you?** Show more of that! In particular those quirks of yours that would be polarising – not necessarily the stuff everyone is likely to hate, such as sticking chewing gum under the coffee table.

    Everyone has a trait or two like this. What are yours?

    Edit: missing word

13. My girlfriend recently let me know how frustrated she is because a guy she has been seeing for several dates has made zero attempts to show any affection. She’s asked several times to hold his hand. But nothing in return.

    Anyways, it’s something to consider. Women like to know you’re interested and you find them attractive. Compliment them. If you find her pretty, tell her. If you want to hold her hand, ask. Physical touch is so important to see if the little sparks happen between two people.

14. I have had anecdotal success with moving to a second location. Having a great drinks first date? Get a kebab at the food truck and take a walk down the Thames. Going to the Lobster Festival as a second date? Transition to beers at the brewery, and play a board game.

    Your prompts are a little boring.

    Don’t know what else to say, I’m not on the date with you.

15. 29/F here. Your profile is very well done. If I were still in the dating scene, it’s one I’d swipe right on. You seem so well rounded. The issue isn’t with your dating profile IMO.

    Something is going “wrong” on the dates. “Wrong” really isn’t the right word here- But likely the women haven’t 100% felt the connection was there between you. This is normal IMO. You’ve only been out there trying for 2 months. It can take time to find someone who you just “hit it right” with, who you feel that strong connection with. We can go through all of the reasons “why” it may have gone wrong- Maybe you didn’t talk about the right things, or maybe you didn’t kiss them soon enough, or etc etc…. But with the *right person* all of that will come naturally. The fact that you’ve had relationships in the recent past, shows me that you DO know how to act right and pick up a women. So, this is more of a timing thing.

    If you’re in the same spot 1 year from now, I’d say then- Yeah, something needs to be fixed. But until then, I think you should just keep doing what you’re doing. And eventually you’ll hit it off with that one person.

16. Just dropping to say that this is one of the best profiles I’ve seen from a guy in a long time. Great variety of pictures and you give plenty of information for someone to strike up a conversation. Well done!

17. You should create another post describing a recent failed progression of dates? Like what did you talk about? Maybe redditors can help provide advice there instead.

18. Like others have said I think your profile is okay, maybe you just haven’t met a great match yet! It can be hard to know compatibility from a profile and quick chat on an app. Doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong necessarily, you just gotta keep playing the game until the right person comes around.

    Have you asked anyone why they didn’t see it working out? Just wondering, don’t blame ya if you haven’t 😂

19. I have nothing meaningful to add except that after creeping your profile, it’s a great disappointment you’re not based in the Prairies 😂

20. Seems like you just haven’t met the right person. You’re probably not doing anything wrong, exactly. Don’t put on any moves or try to have game. As a woman, that’s a huge turn off to me. Just my opinion. Be yourself. You want the person you meet to like YOU! and form a genuine connection with you. Quirks and all. Be cool, be you, relax… I know it absolutely suuuucks to date at times.
    But just keep being you.

21. Take me on a date and I’ll tell you 😉

22. I get “trying too hard” vibes.

23. I think your profile looks great! I’d swipe if I was in your area 🙂 As others have said, maybe it’s just that you haven’t found the person you connect with yet? If you’ve only been at it for a couple months, that means you’ve probably only gone on dates with a handful of women, so maybe you just haven’t found the right one yet and have more searching to do. Also, you mention being confident but not having game, so maybe there’s some awkwardness that you project in person? If so, maybe you could try mentioning that up front, either on your profile or via chat, so your dates know to expect that. In that case, if you’re not being affectionate or what not, they’ll know why and won’t then chalk it up as lacking a spark. As a fellow person with no game, I find that being upfront about it and kinda owning it helps a lot. It lets people know to expect it, and I think often they find it endearing, and it takes the pressure off me to try to project something I don’t naturally have. Not sure if that helps! Good luck!

24. I am being totally honest here.. I have a lot of female friends and family, I’m a single woman.. we are (on average) more attracted to clean shaven guys. Also, I know that it is normal to lose your hair, but we women do a LOT to combat aging.. so my advice is to shave it off, get a procedure done to combat balding, or maybe wear a hat. Zoom whitening.

25. Last year, me ex (London) and I (Seattle) ended things after a bit over a year, after neither of us were willing to move permanently. Despite the ocean and continent separating us, she still claimed that As an American, here are some observations I’ve noticed about London dating:

    1). People are spoiled for choice. Not only do you have to find the right person, but you also have to meet the right person at the right amount of jaded where they’re truly ready to settle down, rather than wait for something better to pop out of the app.

    2) Location is everything. Be more clear about the neighborhood you live in, because it always seems to take 45m to 1h to get anywhere in London. Also be aware of how far you’re willing to travel. If you live in central London, it would take a very special person to draw you to Croyden.

    3) Disclose your living situation on your profile. I wouldn’t have gotten in a relationship if my ex had had 3 flatmates. Regardless of what you’re into, Disclose it on your profile so people can self select out earlier.

    4). Your profile might be too fun. Hard facts are that you seem to be attracting them with your profile and scaring them away with you in real life. Ask a few friends if your profile (which is great) accurately reflects your personality. You might actually have to tone it down a bit to give people a better expectation for who you’re going to be.

26. Just want to say thank you for taking the time to work on yourself before going back out there. 🙂

27. OMG your profile is really cute and wholesome!!

28. Not my opinion at all (as I don’t care about height), but is that maybe throwing them off after meeting?
    Maybe they thought they were game, but aren’t in the end? That’s the only thing that sticks out to me as I know how some can be about that.

29. I don’t have much to say, but from your pictures it looks like you are a very happy and enjoyable person. So best of luck in your dating endeavors.