Not particularly a social person but when I go out I can talk with people. I’ll spark up conversation and people like to tell me about themselves. Sometimes I’ll listen for 10 or 15 minutes. Once the event is over I’ll probably tell the host or somebody I know closest that I’m leaving, but not anyone else really. I just go cuz I want to leave. I go to a lot of music events too. At those I won’t even say goodbye to anybody. I’ll just get in my car and go. Am I being rude?

3 comments
  1. [https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Irish_goodbye](https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Irish_goodbye) says “offensive” but I think it means the term is offensive. I think whether it’s rude really depends on the context of how intimate the gathering is, and whether anyone’s in your crew. Like usually if you arrive with people you should let them know when you’re leaving even if the plan was the group wouldn’t leave together. If you spoke to the host at any point, then you should let the host know you’re leaving. If it’s a birthday party or a wedding, you should let the subjects of the party know you’re leaving (in case you don’t consider these people hosts). But I don’t think you’re under any obligation to say bye to everyone you talked to. Maybe if you said you’d come speak to them again after leaving them to use the bathroom or get some punch or whatever and you never did, that’d be good to let the person know that in fact you are leaving and won’t be talking to them again at this party. Maybe if you’re pretty drunk and one person was really looking out for you and would be concerned if you just disappeared, let that person know you’re OK. But for the most part, at least in the United States, people know people come and go at these things, people don’t expect you to talk to them again at the party unless you said that’s what you intended to do.

    Or just become known for the Irish goodbye. Tell people in advance that’s what you prefer, manage people’s expectations, and live with any consequences related to perceptions of rudeness.

    Edit: Ah, in English it’s “Irish goodbye” or “French exit”, in German it’s *einen polnischen Abgang machen*, or to make a Polish exit, and in French it’s *filer a l’anglaise*, to leave as the English. People just ascribe the behavior to foreigners. There is another phrase in French, *partir comme un voleur*, to leave like a thief, which perhaps we should all use since it’s OK to hate on thieves.

  2. If there’s a host you should seek them out, tell them you had a great time, and thank them for inviting you.

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